Delurking with a few questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Delurking with a few questions
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 10:09pm

My name is Mary Alice and I'm a single mom to Johnny 8 and Thomas 5 and 3/4s he will be 6 on July 20th.
Thomas is my hard to handle always ready to argue with anyone child.
He handled kindergarten no problem only had one major outburst and after realizing he wasn't going to get his way we made it thru the rest of the schoolyear without any issues ( I prolly should knock on wood seeing school isn't over until next Wednesday for him).

However when he is home things are much different he has been exhibiting alot of agression , disobeys continuosly,calls me mean names and does alot of other things that I consider not normal behaviour for a child.
I have been told he exhibits alot of asperger traits and bi-polar tendencies however when I ask the pediatrician about it I'm told oh he just is ADD and you should get him counselling.

So how did you get the Ped or Dr to listen to your concerns and how long did it take for you to get your diagnoses?
I just have a feeling that these issues need addressed before Thomas starts 1st grade this fall or they will come to a head.

Thanks for any ifo and if you want to know more detail feel free to ask.

Mary Alice

MaryAlice.jpg picture by oliviaayala

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:07pm
Hi Mary Alice!
Welcome to the board! My suggestion to you would be to first start journaling each episode that you have with Thomas that causes you concern. Note any difficult behaviors, concerns and questions. Alot of people will tell you that pediatricians are not specialized in treating these disorders, however some people are comfortable in seeing them too. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety and we are having him evaluated for Aspergers as well. I can tell you for a fact that in order to receive a diagnosis for ADHD/ADD, the symptoms must be present in more than 1 setting, ie. both home and school, so if he is doing great at school, but giving you problems only at home, I question the fact that your ped said he is ADD and said he needed counseling without any further evaluations/exam. To dx ADHD, you need input from teachers, etc. We are seeing a developmental pediatrician at our local Children's hospital who specializes in ADHD, Asperger's, etc. He did a full physical, hearing/vision screen, medical history, evaluations from us and his preschool teachers, plus tons of my journaling input (I was very thorough!). Our initial appointment was about 4 hours long and after that, he said Nick definitely displayed ADHD symptoms. A child psychiatrist is also very well qualified to diagnose as well as prescribe medication if needed. If you need a referral, gather up your information you have noted and talk to your ped, let him/her know your concerns and get the referral. Go with your gut feeling! Hope that helps!

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Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 7:45am

Welcome! this is a lovely group of ladies w/ so much experience and knowledge!

Christine is right! you might have to push your Ped. a little for them to make a referral. general peds and family drs don't always have expertise in autistic spectrum disorders and very few know anything about bi-polar disorders in children. Autism Awareness is lagging behind the explosion in diagnoses. Our family Dr was great w/ the kids but poo-poo'd me when I brought up concerns about my son when he was 2, again when he was 3, again when he was 4. After that I kind of gave up asking. The Dr was flabbergasted when the school psychologist suggested our son had a PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) when he was 7. Our son qualified for speech therapy, occupational therapy and eventually physical therapy. The clinical psychologist specializing in ASD evaluated him as moderate/severe autistic though high functioning, and yet those symptoms that gave him this diagnosis were the same things our Dr had poo-poo'd for years.

Go with your gut instinct. Getting you son help sooner is important.
Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 11:17pm


I'm so glad you posted.

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Registered: 06-02-2004
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:00pm

Our ped. recommended ECI for Lily's gross motor delays, but never showed much interest in her other delays. ECI kept telling me that Lily smiled too much to have autism. They did agree to set up an eval with a local psychologist. She was evaluated by what we thought was going to be a psychologist, but ended up being a therapist who worked under the supervision of a psychologist. The therapist dx'd Lily with PDD-NOS. Once she was in our local PPCD program at the elementary school, we heard from a few other parents of a great psychologist in Houston who specialized in ASD's. The school agreed to pay for him to evaluate her. He also dx'd her with PDD-NOS. He was wonderful and gave us much, much more helpful advice than the therapist did. He sent us a 27 page report of his observations, the reason behind his dx and also lots of great advice on how to help her achieve her greatest potential. It was much less depressing than the short report the therapist gave us. Her pediatrician still never seemed that interested in her dx. I offered to give him a copy of the report and he said that was fine, but I highly doubt he ever read it. We have since moved and have a new ped. I think that so many times, peds are unaware of the early warning signs of autism. I think they just assume that ECI will figure it out. Unfortunately, from my experience, parents are the first ones to know something isn't quite right but that most healthcare professionals either don't understand autism or they are too afraid to say the "A" word, so they just shrug off any concerns that the parents have. I was made to feel like I was making a mountain out of a mole hill many times, but I just kept trying until someone listened to me. Don't give up. If you feel like there is something more going on, you have ever right to look into it further. HTH

Amy~mom to Natalie (10 yrs) and Lily (4.5 yrs)

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 11:33pm
Welcome Johnnymom!