Don't know where to turn....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Don't know where to turn....
3
Fri, 02-27-2009 - 7:43pm

Hi,

Geez, I don't even know where to begin...

I have a 5 year old daughter who is in kindergarten and we're having some issues with her. We've looked a bunch of stuff up online and my dh is a child therapist, so he has some knowledge on these things, but he doesn't like to dx small kids and, of course, he is emotionally involved in our problem...

So, here is the low down....

I've always suspected something wasn't "quite right" with Grace. She walked late (22 mos.), she has toe-walked since she began walking and continues to do so, she plays by herself EXTREMELY well (other moms are jealous that I don't have to entertain her constantly), she has a slew of imaginary friends (most of them represent a cartoon character she idolizes), she is difficult to discipline (sometimes does not seem to care if she has horrible consequences, she still acts out and sometimes she actually asks to be punished "I want to go to my room or stay in time out all day."), she has little empathy toward people and is actually kinda of disturbingly happy when others are sad or hurt, she has trouble (still) eating with utensils, she HATES the vacuum, hair dryer or any other loud, ear piercing noises, she breaks down in tears where there is too much noise and activity going on, she LOVES to draw and color (is actually quite the artist), she has difficulty focusing on someone when they are tryint to have a talk with her, she spins on her sit n spin constantly, she plays by herself (happily) at recess, she has no sense of urgency when there is danger, she has never slept well, if she has something to say, you have to let her get it out or she cannot focus on what you are trying to tell her.... I really could go on, but this should give you an idea of what I'm dealing with. I have a lot of friends with kids her age and she doesn't seem to act like any of the rest of them. I know all children are different, but she seems to really stand out.

I'm truly at my wits end. I've spoken to her teacher and she adores Grace but has some concerns about her lack of social interaction and about her breakdowns in noisy situations (she cried uncontrollably at school this week because her art class was too loud and there was not set assignment). She has always had a difficult time with change and she has a hard time describing her feelings and if she is ill, what is bothering her.

Does any of this make sense to any of you? I've found a great deal of comfort a few years back in the kidney reflux board on here and I guess I just need some reassurance and answers.

My DH and I have decided to speak to Grace's pediatrician soon about all of this (she is unaware at this point because, honestly, Grace has had some prominent health issues that were always at the forefront of her appts., but now she is healthy and all of this is overwhelming....) These signs have always been there (the strangest things have always "freaked her out.", but now I think it is time to seek some advice on her behavior issues. I'm really not sure what I'm expecting from this group since we haven't even sought any medical help yet, but I just wondered if I was going down the right path here...

Thanks in advance for your advice/information. I don't know how some people survive without the support of groups like these.

Nikole

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2001
Sat, 02-28-2009 - 12:19am

Hi Nikole, All of your descriptions sound like it could be aspergers. It also could not be. I remember when I was waiting to get my son diagnosed just before his third birthday I really felt very little anticipation. Whether they gave me the diagnosis or not, we still had this pile of issues we were dealing with. My main goal was to find out what therapies/strategies would help. And honestly people told me correctly that a diagnosis would only help as it would give us eligibility for services. Once we got the autism diagnosis, my son received a one-to-one aide in preschool paid for by our school district. He went to a special speech preschool twice a week that the school district provided and got OT. We also recently began receiving San Andreas Regional Center services.

My suggestion to you would be to find out what you can about how to help her issues. Whether or not they add up to aspergers/autism or not only matters in so far as getting money and services.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 9:37pm

Hi BleesedbyGracie,


I was reading down and sorry I don't have any helpful advice but I wanted to let you know that I feel for you - I know the frustration of trying to figure out how to best help the one you love most in the world.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 12:53pm

Welcome to the board. You're welcome here with or without a dx, it's a pretty accepting group of ladies. Unfortunately, you posted on a section of the board that doesn't get much traffic. Try posting again in the top section.

Your story sounds all too familiar. I say follow your gut instincts on this one. If your doctor shrugs you off, you may want to go someplace where they have more experience with the range of the spectrum - a neuropsych, a dev. pediatrician, or a psychologist with a background in ASD. Too often people think autism is only the lower functioning end of things, and aren't as aware of the high functioning end of it.

Also contact your school district and ask for an evaluation. Any child over 3 is eligible for services through the school district if they are found to need them. They won't diagnosis, but they can note areas of strengths and weaknesses, and address the areas of weakness.

Hugs. It's a struggle, but you're not alone and furthermore you are reaching out for assistance and support. Things will get better because of that.

Again, please try posting up on the top of the board. You'll get more hits that way.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson