Favorite comebck lines?

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Favorite comebck lines?
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 4:39pm

OK I'll bite.

What are your favorite comeback lines to be delivered to stupid or disapproving strangers out in public?

I have a few which range from he very abstract:

"It's OK. He's half Scottish"
(confuse them and run)

to the sublime.

"Please don't touch her! She has a rare skin condition!" (I.e. SID) -Getting well-meaning strangers to keep their hands off my very cute but very tactile defensive DD is a HUGE challenge. Of course, I am just waiting for the day when she tells somebody at school that she has a rare skin condition. That one could bite me in the behind real hard, real fast! LOL.

We printed up some t-shirts for the kids with slogans such as "I have Autism. What's your excuse?" but never really wore them last year, when summer passed us by. This year we will.

I otfen challenge a strangers qualificaions: "Are you a psychologist?" ("/expert in early childhood development"/etc), which usually works.

I happen to have a very scary stare and a scary-looking DH with an even nastier stare, so that usually stops all but the least faint of heart.

One problem I face is controlling Peter; who may take a dislike to man with a loud voice or to a mom who corrected her child in his hearing. he will often chase after him/her, growling and shouting (sometimes swinging).

In those circumstances, I usually have to ask the astonished stranger their first name, while holding back my snarling son. Once I know their name, I can introduce Peter to them and he desists. Most people in those circumstances recognise immediately that the child is non-standard and just tell me their name without question.



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Registered: 10-03-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 6:10am

My comeback lines are not snappy or clever (yet), but I do try to think of them. People are sometimes SO rude with us, where do they get their bloomin' balls, I'd like to know? It doesn't help that Malcolm is so tall that people think he's 10 or 11 instead of 7.

Anyways, I do glare and say things like "I'm his mother, I'll take care of him, thank you" as loud and ferocious as possible, and I remember once saying "You are hardly helping this difficult situation". Recently I told a man on the crowded subway to "Back off, Keep your opinions to yourself". And he actually said "This is America, I can say what I want" and I said "And so can I, and I am telling you to shut up." To which he turned and started speaking Russian with his friend very angrily --- which meant my son and I didn't have to hear anymore of his completely unwarranted input (whew). And btw, Malcolm had done NOTHING except express his dismay at the lack of seats in a slightly loud, upset fashion. No meltdown, nothing.

The danger in responding at all is that it will escalate Malcolm, who is usually struggling to hold on, and my diverting attention to nasty strangers is actually abandoning him when he needs me, so many times I do just ignore them if they let me and are not so rude that I MUST speak. And also, many many more people are kind and even helpful, and most thankfully of all, Malcolm is doing so much better in public now.

I am working to educate my friends that they cannot necessarily tell the difference in older tantrumming children, and so please suspend judgement. But where do people get off? Amazing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:22am

Well I have been asked a dozen times if they are natural and my response is usally no I have implants (my DH almost died laughing) . I have a lot of therapist in the house and the postal woman knocked on my door and asked what goes on in here men and women come and go , I politely explained that I run a brothel and slamed the door in her face. I did go to a party that my sisters girlfriend threw for her daughter and my boys were in rare form too much noise and lots of people they were jumping and yelling and dylan was having a tantrum so the hostess says to cant you control them and with a look and a smile I said this is how I teach them to behave its a new method to raising your kids you can get the book at amazon.I have said a few unprintable things as well but i try hard not to do that too much. Paula I would love those shirts I think I'm gonna order them.



Jackie~  Jacob , Dylan-James, &

Avatar for cathby
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 5:36pm

I'm waiting to use this.... I haven't yet.

(Loud enough for parents to hear): "I'm sure that your parents taught you better than that!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 1:09pm

Man, I saw a ton of great autism stuff including that one. There is a website I found lots of good stuff on including that one. Haven't ordered any yet though, but love the "it's not what you think" one. There is also "Aspie Stim Team" thought I would get Mike. Then there is this one about "Aspie rules" too. cafepress is the name of the site. Search autism stuff and there are tons.

Oh, when Mike was little, folks had to touch his head. He used to growl at them. that was pretty effective, LOL.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 1:04pm

I found some t-shirts that say "Autism, every day is an adventure!" It has a cartoon pic of a boy sitting on a tree branch cutting off that branch, lol. Mike, Cait and I all have autism awareness bracelets we wear so that explains enough. Cait I don't have to worry anymore. She is big enough that she usually doesn't melt in public anymore. She passes pretty good unless someone really knows asperger's and then they pick it up if she is having a pet conversation with them. They may even think she is just quirky until she tells them she is AS, then they go "Ohhhhh, yeah"

Actually, I am getting to old, lol. I used to have the best come backs but don't even bother anymore. Whatever, ya know. I just ignore and walk away. The only time was when I was at a park talking to a lady we found out was a speech path. My SIL was talking to her about my autistic nephew. Mike started a meltdown and had targetted her grandson in the tyrade, so I told her "Sorry, he is special too".

If he does something to another child I will apologize and explain briefly to the other parents that he is ASD. But no good comebacks for a long time. If people make comments or dirty looks I just ignore or shoot them a nasty look if neccessary.

I have gotten to be an old fuddy duddy.


Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 12:40pm

I don't say this, but I saw somewhere where they sell bumper stickers that say: "Autism-It's not like you think."

Love it! Doesn't quite answer the question, but still thought it was cool.

I don't have any comeback lines. People are free to be as ignorant as their comfort zones allow, ykwim?


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 10:20am

Hi Paula,

Your comebacks made me smile! I especially like, "it's okay, he's half Scottish." I also liked the "are you a psychologist?" and "rare skin condition" one. I wish I had the nerve to use these. A sense of humor about this is so important.

On a kind of serious note, your observation that your child is cute, hence people wanting to touch, really made me think. My little boy is a really cute toddler too and I never thought that was the reason people are so quick to approach, but I bet it is. Kind of like people wanting to pat pregnant ladies' tummies without asking, maybe.

Actually, DS came up with a good line on his own. People are always asking for a hug (people he knows). He used to say "No, No, No! Go away." But lately he takes a step back, looks them in the eye and says, "Only a very tiny, tiny, hug." I wish I could say I taught him that, but it was his own idea and it actually works really well. I was proud of him the first time he did that, for lots of reasons.

Anyway, thanks for sharing.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 7:22pm

i have a bunch pre-prepared in my head. have yet to use them.

however, i did have an encounter in a store where two preteens were staring at matt having a meltdown. i gave them the dirtiest look i could (tim calls it the evil eye). i now realize they may have been too young to know better.

i did see on a website where they make t-shirts that say "celebrate neurodiversity". i think that is cool.