Glad I found this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Glad I found this!
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:39pm
This is the first time I've begun posting like this (first day), and I think I'm hooked! Just looking at a few of the forums I've already seen such a supportive, welcoming environment!
I have three little boys, all of whom have been diagnosed with autism. Gage is 5 1/2, Cooper is going to 3 next week, and Reilly is 1 1/2, and was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. All of the kids were diagnosed at 22 months or younger, and so I've been dealing with this for a long time, but when Reilly was diagnosed it sort of pushed me over the edge and I realized I need, need to connect with other people who are living with the same situations as my husband and I. But I was really concerned (and skeptical) about starting in on one of these groups and being bombarded by the "cultish" types that I had seen and read all too often. I mentioned that in a different post earlier today and my concerns were quickly put to rest, and I really appreciate that.
I am a speech/language pathologist and worked for 12 years in that field before stopping because of the obvious reasons! I don't even know how I lasted as long as I did (I stopped just before Reilly was born). While I was working, though, I focused mostly on augmentative communication for kids who had limited verbal skills or non-verbal- as you can imagine our group worked with many children with autism. Ironically it wasn't the grouping of kids I really focused on much, and I knew very little about the disorder (and I liked it that way! autism was not my "thing"). However, my work experience certainly gave me a leg up on knowing how the system works here (preschool and school age), who the good therapists were, and how to get what we needed. If I have anything to offer anyone else, it's that- advocacy has become my "thing".
What I need help with is, oh, everything else! How to manage the guilt of not working every waking moment with my kids, managing all those providers and therapists in our house and in our lives, how do you get a provider that you think isn't working out for you child off your team? (that's a big one for me!), and even working out time to ourselves- you know, that never ending thing! Food is a big issue for my kids, anxiety is huge (and Gage is starting kindergarten in the fall, my anxiety may be greater than his!), and in two weeks Reilly will be starting center based VBA. At 1 1/2 years old he's going to be leaving the house for 4 hours of intense intervention. Even though the other two went through exactly the same thing and the transformation has been unbelievable, it's just not fair.
Thank you for welcoming me. I really am excited to get to know you all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:23pm

Welcome Cynthia,

I haven't been reading up and posting as much as I should but I sure wanted to say Hi to you.

I was a teacher (Special ed, specializing in autism) prior to my kids being born. I think my experience actually delayed my kids evaluations. I also worked with the more severe population and older. My kids, though definitely delayed and concerns, wasn't near what I was working with so I figured I was imagining things or reading too much into typical behavior.

Anyway, wanted to say welcome. I have 4 kids. My oldest 2 are both ASD and my youngest is the ADHD type who likes to flirt with the edges of the spectrum.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 9:42am

Hi Cynthia and welcome.

We are glad to have you join us.

I will attempt to address some of the issues you raised (in blue italics). Many of us deal with exactly the same thing, and although no-one has The Answer; a few of us


visit my blog at
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 4:55pm

Hi Cynthia!

Welcome to the board and our little family!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2007
Sat, 06-30-2007 - 11:16pm
Thanks for the suggestions and thoughts. I am already really enjoying looking at what everyone has to say- I definitely checked into this at the wrong time, though! I'm in the last two weeks of a class and have a ton of work to do for it. . . and all I want to do is check in here!
I do take time to myself, I don't want anyone to think I'm all work no play, and my DH(I"m just getting used to these acronyms!) is fantastic, totally an equal partner in all this, I'm so lucky. Yet there are just not enough hours in the day, and the time I do spend with my kids can be so so difficult, all I want to do is something else, anything else. It can just be so painful watching the youngest stim away (especially when this time last year he was all there), or the middle using his new found skill of talking to rehearse lines over and over. There are positives and I try to remember them. I think seeing how others are dealing with the same thing will be helpful, which is why I signed on.
Thanks again, I'll figure out how to chat soon!
Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 9:48pm

Hi Cynthia,

I was away this weekend so I missed this post until now. You certainly have your hands full and are very blessed.

I'm mom to 5 kiddos, one w/ an autism Dx. We were in denial for a long time and our son wasn't fully Dx until age 8. You are certainly doing the right thing w/ intensive therapy, it's just hard to see them go off to 'school' at that young an age.