Here we are in a nut shell

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Here we are in a nut shell
7
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 8:12pm

DS was in an at-home daycare until he was 4.5 years. In September 2002 he was enrolled in a private daycare-preschool. By December of the same year, I was told to find him a new preschool. His daily meltdowns and other disruptive behavior was more than they were willing to endure. His teacher suggested that I get him evaluated for being developmental disabled. January 2003, he was enrolled in another preschool. He stayed there for preschool, summer vacation care and before/aftercare from Kindergarten. There were several behavior problems (meltdowns, temper tantrums, etc.) the entire time. While there, he was evaluated by the Learning Center Team (which was comprised of a child psychologist, ST, OT and someone else – I can’t remember their specialty). They felt there were no developmental problems. First grade was riddled with more behavior problems. He started to show great amounts of anxiety in relation to school. As a stress reliever, he started to chew on everything – pencils, crayons, erasers, glue bottles – anything. He was not ingesting the items – just chewing. We had him tested for lead poisoning (pika) but the test came back normal. He seemed to be having meltdowns for anything that frustrated him and everything frustrated him – the computer took to long to boot up, there were no train books in the library, the other children refused to play space train with him, etc. In Spring 2005, his first grade teacher told me I needed to do more – I needed to get him into counseling or something – she could not handle him. I got a referral from his pediatrician for a counselor and he started seeing her at the end of first grade and all through the summer. We had a great summer and we were all excited for 2nd grade. The new school year started and everything seemed to be going well and then I started to get the phone calls – almost daily temper tantrums and meltdowns, chewing, poor relations with peers. After my third meeting between myself, son’s teacher, guidance counselor and therapist, AS was brought up by his therapist. I must say it does sound like him. My son is 7 yrs old, above average intelligence, EXTREMELY chatty, obsessive interest is trains (reads every book on them, watches every video/DVD on them, draws them in acute detail, collects them, talks about them constantly, etc.), no friends – wants to have friends but can’t figure out how to connect with them, when he does interact with kids – he actually plays parallel to them not with them or he becomes very upset if they will not play what he wants to play (his way or the highway), easily frustrated and overwhelmed, physically clumsy, he is described as compassionate but lacking empathy, he thrives on routine, easily frustrated with change (a substitute teacher means a really bad day for him), hates surprises, over-sensitive to sound, picky eater, some mild phobias, had problems learning to use scissors and tie shoes (still refuses to tie shoes most time).

But my son is also very sweet, curious, silly, intelligent and creative, he is a good artist (draws in scale and correct proportion), he is kind and gentle to animals, he is an excellent reader (and comprehends what he reads as well), he still likes to sit in my lap and cuddle when he is tired. I get to enjoy a very sweet child and it kills me to know that he is considered the problem child at school – no one (teachers and kids) want to deal with him.

He currently does not have any help at school. We have just put all the pieces to the puzzle together and are working toward a diagnosis. The school he is at currently is being very understanding and are trying to work with him the best they can but I have been warned that the next year is a different story. He will be going to another school (for 3rd, 4th and 5th) and they will not make any allowances for a child unless there is an IEP/504 – no exceptions. That is why we are trying to get a diagnosis now.

That is our basic story – of course there are a lot of other issues and incidents but I could be typing all day if I included them – LOL! Thank you for reading this and thank you for welcoming me to your board.

((HUGS))
Christie




Edited 11/16/2005 9:47 am ET by jinxgirl2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 11:23pm

Hi! Son received his official diagnosis in December so the school is now willing to do a multifactored evaluation to hopefully set up an IEP for son. I met with the school's team to sign the consent forms right before winter break so they are going to start the eval as soon as school continues in January. It sounds like some of the gears are starting to move....

Thanks Paula!
Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 11:07pm

Christie,

Write a letter to your school district asking for an psychoeducational eval!

Your story sounds very similar to ours! Joel was in private school for K, 1st and 2nd, and they wanted to give us "counseling", but no other resources. Went to public school and qualified almost immediately for IEP to address his issues in 3rd grade.

Will you please write back and tell what you are doing re. the school?

Paula G. (and Joel - 10yo Aspergers, ADHD and Anxiety)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 11-26-2005 - 8:43pm

Christie,

I am not angry at you. I am angry on your behalf. It sounds like you boy has fallen into that classic school trap: special needs but academically gifted. So the school assumes (or pretends to assume) that because he is smart, there could be no disorder present, it's all bad parenting and your fault. THEY ARE SO WRONG.

(deep beath. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)

'scuse me sorry for shouting. OK. Better now.

So welcome to the board! I think internet diagnoses are a bad idea, but there are a lot of red flags for AS in your description of your guy. My son, who is 7 and in 2nd, was kicked out of a couple of daycares too. He had some obvious deficits, so he got a lot of help and is doing great now, but I shudder to think what might have happened had they insisted on mainstreaming him without supports. OMG your poor son! This can't continue.

Have you set up a full neuropsychological evaluation for him? That is my recommendation, althougth beware! Most insurance does not cover it and it costs serious $$. Your next best option is an evalutaion with a developmental pediatrician. I personally do not recommend using a neurologist for this kind of diagmosis, but that's just me.

Oops bedtime. Better run. Welcome again. Please stick around so we can get to know you better.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 7:42pm

Thank you for the welcome - I hope you feel better soon. Good luck with the conference.

Christie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 7:31pm

Christie,

I just wanted to welcome you to the board! I've been a little sick, got a cold.....but I'm just so tired, I've been on the couch most of the day.

My youngest, Nathan 6 1/2, was dx'd when he was 5 as HFA. I also have a 9yr old, Tyler NT. So far, this year has been going good. But I have conferences tomorrow, so we'll see for sure!! lol

Hope you get a dx for you ds, I'm sure an IEP would really help him at school. Good luck.

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 7:25pm

Thanks for the welcome. Actually his pediatrician is supportive - her oldest son is autistic so she has been invaluable to me recently. Unfortunately, she was not the one who put all the pieces together regarding AS - seems strange to me - she never mentioned AS or PDD could be the underlying issue with him - she was just one of the many that assumed he was just a terribly behaved child. I think that has been the hardest part for me - I have been told by every teacher or caretaker (except his first) that they have never seen a child like my son before - one actually told me that they believed he was deeply, mentally disturbed.

Again, thanks for the welcome,
Christie

Avatar for nutmegspice
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 2:28pm

Welcome Christie!

Boy does *that* sound familiar!!! Keep pushing for a dx; get whatever you need to get one so he can qualify for an IEP/504. If your Ped. isn't on board, find one who will be helpful and supportive.

I'm still getting used to the mom-as-advocate role myself. Trying to hold DS accountable for his actions while setting up the school environment to support him so he isn't acting out is tricky to say the least!

Good luck!

Chrystee

Photobucket www.idlehand