Hi new and confused..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Hi new and confused..
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 9:43pm
This is mostly a repost from above. I think I posted in the wrong area. We are in the process of streamlining diagnoses. My kids have a jumble of diagnoses. Non of them are diagnoses with aspergers but I was trying to figure out where to post about them. Where would anyone understand my kids? Here I see the selective mutism and the speech therapppy and the verbal outbursts and the tantrums and the stuck in a rut behavior I've witnessed on numerous occasions. So even even though I don't know specifically what my kids have I do know there are simmiliarities in behavior so I feel comfortable here. The reason we I am in a seek and find mode is because my 9 yr olds speech therapist mentioned that I should talk over the fact that I have 5 kids with this interesting development pattern and behavior pattern. She finds my son a real puzzle and at the same time a delight to work with and she thinks there is most certainly a genetic factor behind it and that it may have a name beyond what they have said so far. She didn't say what she thinks it is thats not her job but she said I should pursue it further.

I have 4 sons ages 9, 11, 13, and 15 and a daughter age 7. They have all had various degrees of speech problems. and other things that have a common thread. My 13 year old year old son has gathered alot of labels over the years from selective mutism as a toddler along with an articulation disorder (he was hard to understand when he did speak but he always had above average understanding of what was said). He later gathered other labels like dysgraphia , dysthymia (low level depression) and dyspraxia( for him it has to do with both his overall motor skills and his speech) and ADD. He is now doing very well in school..he is going into advanced placement classes with support in his writing area only.. though socially he is unusual..he doesn't have usual social interactions with other children and is prone to say quirky things.. that people take wrong but he just doesn't always get the social give and take of it all. Despite this he is well liked and has a well developed sense of humor that people love.

My oldest is also socially not able to really integrate in normal ways and is very bright. He is happy as long as he is playing Magic or playstation and was involved in Track and crosscountry this last year. He has a best friend that lives in another city. My 11 year old is highly gifted and can't follow a 2 step command..he has two good friends and I've chose to homeschool him this year as a better fit til next year. The school had no services for gifted high needs kids. He wasn't very happy last year even though he had a good teacher. This child tends to hyperfocus and drives me crazy. I hope I am capable of surviving him this year ; ) I was reading up on ways to distract them..too bad hes too big to swing around.. Maybe I can throw him out to swing on the swing or the gym when he gets an idea STUCK in his brain. He was the toddler who I took a stick away after hitting a infant sibling in a stroller ..he screamed at the top of his lungs all the way home kicking and flailing. Then screamed himself to sleep. Then he woke up from his nap and immediately started screaming for the stick AGAIN thats how fixated he gets on things. He hasn't changed since then. LOL.though I will say I wasn't laughing that day..

then there is my 9 yr old which brings me here to the board .. his speech therapist was talking to me how I should investigate why I have so many children following the same pattern.. she is puzzled with this particular son he is a very bright successful student with some puzzling speech patterns. He locks into strange patterns. He was selectively mute.. He still is sometimes (currently he is in spanish ..he knows the language but chooses not to use it most of the time..except with select individuals..his dad and he has now chosen one friend and school he met who cannot speak English..he deems worthy..which is a break through..since he has few people he considers "friends". He is very methodical on how he does things.

My 7 yr old girl may be "within normal limits" I don't know yet. She is very bright and most probably gifted and throws huge tantrums still. She has sensory issues with socks and undies and clothes..its better now than when she was younger now though thankfully. She is almost graduated out of speech. I am homeschooling her currently because she needed the freedom. Its been a much better fit for her.

I came in this room because even though I have no idea what exactly we are dealing with ..it could be anything..I figure I would start here.. and ask questions....

first of all is it possible for things withing the autism spectrum to run in families? I know whatever this is is familial. It comes from the Grandfather and my husband and possibly my side too.(the speech, pacing and learning disablity part at least is shared through both and the depression part from my one son is shared by the grandfather). I thought the dypraxia was the answer but its not enough. And as I'm starting to realize I need more to help my kids get to adult hood healthy and happy. I want them to be independent. Any ideas will be helpful.. I was not pursuing anything until the speech therapist said I should..because when does eccentric end and a problem begin? Do normal 13 yr olds shout out loudly on buses when someone is standing in front of the bus in front of the yellow line reading the rules that are printed at the front of the bus? stating the rules are being broken over and over again. He was like but they are breaking the rules. My 9 yr old was known as the policeman at his otherschool we had to train him at this school not to be. His teacher taught him playground games so he could do something else..he then delighted in being in control of the rules of those games. But its better than when he marched around in a box in 2nd grade getting his "excersise". Now he will join in organized games even if he isn't in control but not always. My kids used to chew holes in their shirts and throw loud tantrums I had to literally have to sit with them to contain (my daughter still does this sometimes she is 7) but I always contributed this to the speech part of it the highneeds part of it. but now its like there is a missing link.. not enough. because by now with my 15 yr old the speech is solved but why isn't he acting completely like a normal teen? what is missing? sigh...

My husband is angry that I think something is "wrong" with his kids.. he was very slow to accept that anything was amis ever even with my 13 yr old who obviously has special needs and is now recieving services. He is afraid that the goal is medication. And I am reassuring him that to take them back to be reassed that is not the goal. My 13 yr old is an A student and he is special needs ..that can happen but now my husband is saying nothing is wrong with his kids..he is ignoring the iep and I wonder if he will ignore the new alphasmart I recieved for him so he can type his work. Now I am suggesting I get at least two of his boys evaluated (the 9 and 13 yr old first) to see what the pediatrician and psychiatrist think it may be. How did any of you deal with any of the above? I think as we approach highschool it will be very important to get a better diagnosis .. for any of you who read this thank you

juana mother of 5 contradictions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 4:48am
Well, with all of that going on I can certainly see why you feel comfortable here. Your house sounds like mine! LOL.

Ya know, from what you've said your 15yo sounds a lot like my 12yo dd. She has PDD-NOS. She never really gets 'unhappy' persay, but she only gets truely happy when she's playing her Gameboy, reading a book, or working on her sci-fi story. She hates running though, but she does like swimming. Whenever we go to the pool she plays for a few minutes then starts to do laps. Normally children under 16 aren't allowed in the lap lanes durring the normal swim period but the life gaurds have decided to make an exception for her. She's not playing around, she's honestly doing laps and working on her stroke. And to say that she doesn't quite get the ins and outs of social exchanges would be an understatement. She is completely oblivious to non-verbal ques and fluid conversation.

And I kinda know what it's like to have a disbelieving DH. While my current DH is totally excepting of the things we have in our family my XH is totally in denile that there is anything wrong or different about his kids. He calls them liars and discipline problems. He claims they just need to be disciplined propperly, which in his book means spanked. It's very sad.

Anywho, we're glad to have ya, no matter what your kids dx's or lack there of. Their personallities certainly seem to fit in around here. :)

Candes (another secular homeschooler dealing with multiple dx's)