I have a girl! I am confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
I have a girl! I am confused
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 2:55pm
I'm new here. I have a very sweet, beautiful daughter who is almost 5 and "quirky". I am really confused by the whole system even though I have been trying since she was 25 months old to get a diagnosis for her. She was originally diagnosed with SID and auditory processing disorder as well as low muscle tone in her trunk and mouth. We moved to a small town and the public school poo-pooed the idea that anything was wrong with her. Then we took her to a PT who said she had gross motor skill delays and suggested that she may have asperger's. She is now back in the public school in an intergrated preschool (half IEP's/half not) Her teacher has come to the conclusion that she does have some issues and they are putting together an IEP for her even as we speak. I truly don't know what's wrong. She loves people and has a very social nature, but has a hard time picking up social cues from others. She is very affectionate and loving and also very very easily hurt by rejection of her peers. She has an enormous vocabulary and sometimes sounds like a little adult. She can play by herself for hours. She has problems with eye contact with her peers. She has motor planning apraxia. She is quirky and amusing and I wouldn't change anything about her. But I am very worried as she begins to get into the public school system. We are moving to a bigger city in the summer and I am going to try to find a smaller private school for her because she would get completely runover in Kindergarten by the huge amount of sensory info coming to her at once. If she gets overstimulated, she shuts down completely and clings to me (or another adult, if I'm not there), crying and burying her head in my shoulder. Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? Does it sound like asperger's? It's so hard to help because I don't have any real label to do all my research on. I'm finding there are not as many girls out there with these problems. Sigh...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 3:32pm

Your dd sounds like my son, who is 10 and I have been suspecting some type of Autism problem with him. I actually have concentrated more with his problems with Dysgraphia for the last 3 years because all of the signs pointed to it. Its been horrible getting the school system to cooperate with me (long story).

Recently someone in the Dysgraphia group I belong too, mentioned Aspergers Syndrome, and I started Googling it. My gosh, it all explains the "different behavior" he has always had. I have never payed too much attention to it because I like people who are very much an individual and like to do things there own way. That is the best way I can describe Chris....

Anyway, I meet with a Neuro-Physcologist tomorrow to start testing Chris. The school system has let me down so much, I will finally be relieved to get him this testing done, and done the right way.

I have heard that Aspergers (and Dysgraphia for that matter) is higher in boys than girls, but I know that girls can get it too.

I don't know much yet, but you can use search words such as Aspergers Syndrome, PDD, and Autism and get some research and knowlege that way. There's also a good site I found called www.Childbrain.com that has alot of info on Autism and such.

Good luck!


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 7:24am

Hi and welcome!

There are quite a few moms here with girls on the spectrum. It is not as common as boys and often girls are mis-diagnised because of this. There are also so many differences in our children, ASD presents in many different ways. This means that some children don't "seem" autistic to an untrained eye, but their problems are still coming from the same type of difficulties.

From your description of your daughter, there sure could be some red flags there for an ASD, but obviously you will need to have her seen by experts for a real dx. Hopefully, her school will start to work on ways to help her right away, though.

Good luck with all this and do stick around.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 9:00am

welcomer to the board,

Yyour DD sound similar to mine, who is not officially DXed. A few years ago they said she was "at risk for Aspergers".

Siobhan is now 6½ and in 1st grade, mainstreamed with an IEP and supports. She is doing well in that program, although the 'shutting down" thing is an issue too. (she doesn't cry or cling -she just shuts down).

All of Siobhan's evaluations were through the School district, and we got very good services for her, because we were lucky to have had great evaluators and therapists in the preschool years, who stuck out their necks and made strong recommendations for her.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 10:35pm

Well, your daughter certainly sounds quite like my son, who has AS.

If you are interested in getting a medical dx, I would suggest making at list of all of those things you just mentioned and bringing it to your doctor to ask for neurological testing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2007
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 6:39pm

Annie, your daughter sounds strikingly similar to my 3 and a half year old whom was just recently diagnosed with Asperger's. I would try and find a source for a complete neuropsychological evaluation. You're right there are way fewer girls affected by this syndrome, and it appears to show itself in girls differently than boys which makes diagnosing difficult. I would find a parent organization on the web with lists of resources for diagnosing, and go from there, hope that helps and let me know if you need anythingelse!