Losing my mind!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
Losing my mind!
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 8:31pm

Hi, I am a single mother to an 8 year old son with AS and ADHD. He was diagnosed with the ADHD two years ago and is currently taking Ritalin LA, but was recently diagnosed with AS last spring.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 4:40pm

Time outs are not particularly effective for ASD kids because they cannot see the connection between their behaviour and the timeout. My son used to tell me he was in timeout because I carried him there. Which was true,....but not the point LOL! timeouts are useful to prevent meltodowns though - but in this case they are for the child to learn self-calming, not a punishment/teaching thing.

What we found worked much better was very structured explanations for why behaviours were unacceptable, and rewards for appropriate behaviour that were directly linked to the behaviour and/or buying a reward that my son genuinely wanted. So he can 'buy' computer time by completing his homework, I give him very detailed explanations of why he needs to help with dinner preparation...and you need to remember that you might need to explain emotional things in a quite detailed way as well. EG if you are gentle to your baby sister that will make her and me happy, even though 'being gentle' to you would not make you happy, because a baby is different to you, and it is a good thing to make your baby sister happy because that helps her feel safe and is good for the whole family. (remember that empathy and imagining yourself into other people's shoes is hard for ASD kids - so they will not naturally do things just to please you. It's why most behaviour-modification techniques that work on NT people do not work on ASD people. You have to think outside the box and find rewards that make sense to them, not you)


Kirsty, mum to Euan (13, Aspergers Syndrome)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"

Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2011
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 9:05pm

It's good keep talking to him about his mistakes. Just do it when both of you are calm and get his input for how he can try to handle things better next time. I was giving my son time outs for 2 years before I realized he didn't have a clue why he was being punished. He was about

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 4:12pm

Welcome to the baord kidsteacher.