May I introduce myself/request advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
May I introduce myself/request advice
5
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 4:46pm
I have a high functioning, very social 17 year old daughter with, more than likely, Asperger's. She delights us with her innocence, but worries us because of her naivete.

She comes across as "normal", so ,even a caring adult observing her might not know when she is in a situation she can't handle. She has liked boys for a while now, and we have always preferred that she "date" boys like her, mainly because we can count on heavy parental involvement on both sides. In these situations, we don't have to explain why we are so protective. For the first time, she likes(and is liked by) a boy that is "normal", older, and ,scariest of all, has a car. She craves freedom so much that we fear she would willingly go off in his car with him. We know we have to let her grow up, we just want her to be safe. We both work full-time, and she has a part-time job and goes to school, so we can't be with her 24/7(and that would keep her from growing up, anyway). Any suggestions/insight?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 6:30pm
Welcome! Gosh, I just dread the whole dating thing! I can't imagine how I will handle it with either of my kiddos, but especially with my daughter. I think I'd have to buy one of those tracking bracelets if she were an Aspie. So many males find a sense of naiveté and innocense quite compelling in a female of the species.

Unfortunately I have no suggestions, or insights but I did want to welcome you to the board and let you know there are other girl Aspies in our "family", whose moms will be very happy to see your post, and hope you'll hang out with us! I find this board to be a true life saver, as well as warm and welcoming, and I hope you do, too!

Sio

who is passing you the box of virtual chocolates!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 02-10-2004 - 9:31pm

Hello and welcome.


I am sorry, my children are both little and my nieces are "normal", so I have lots of sympathy for your plight, but no insight.


Good luck.


-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 4:46am

Hi and welcome to the board! :)


The subject of dating has been brought up here on the board a few times but it was always approached hesitantly. I'm really glad you brought it up!


First of all, I'm Candes, in CA. I work in research psyhology developing educational systems and curricula for kids with Pediatric Onset Disabilities, including autism, AD/HD, and mental retardation. I have 6 daughters, 3 of whom are on the PDD/Autism Spectrum. My dearest husband and my grandmother, whom we live with, also have Asperger's Syndrome.


Since this is a subject I think really needs to be discussed at length (or at least more than it has) I'm going to start a new thread in article format in general discussions entitled "Mars, Venus, and Asperger's".


But I wanted to give you a hearty welcome (offering cookies, chocolates, and coffee). It's good to see more girls on the board, most Aspies are boys, so the info tends to be

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 10:54am
Thank you for the warm welcome. Yes, my biggest fear about this "normal" boy is that he will find it easy "to have his way with her". I don't think she's interested in sex, but I do think she likes it when a boy likes her!! She walks on air over it!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 02-11-2004 - 11:00am
Thanks, Candes!! I'll respond to your other thread when I am able...