Mommy2Nathan2004

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Mommy2Nathan2004
3
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 2:39pm

Michelle, thanks for the reply on my original post. We both have 2 sons where the older one is named Tyler (my Tyler (Dec 16/99) is 2 years and 11 months older than Jason (Nov 7/02)The funny thing is I had Jason named "Nathan" right up until about my 8th month of pregnancy. I love the name and also like Nate.

It ultimately was changed to Jason as my husband has a colleague named Nathan and every time we said the name for our son someone would make a reference to other Nathan in a not so nice manner!

I never dreamt I would be praying my son has a higher functioning autism disorder. Because he started out with a gross motor delay and eventually speech dropped. I know he cannot be classified as Aspergersbut I am "envious" of those with Aspergers children...go figure...isn't it amazing how life works like that.

Jason's ST believes Jason will likely talk again, he has all the "tools" and still does a lot of jargon and no oral motor issues. Time will tell. Again, I am bargaining with a higher power, okay you gave me a son with asd, can you at least let him be verbal?

I am sure everyone on this board has gone through these power struggles with fate. Just wanted to chat and comment on our childrens names.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 3:14pm

Jen,

That is just too funny!! My boys are 2yrs and 4mo apart. I had planned on having Nathan a bit later....just didn't work out that way!!

Nathan had maybe 5-7 words at age 2-3. He just didn't really use them. He was quiet most of the time...except for the screaming and crying and tantrums!!! At around age 3 my sister suggested that we get him evaluated for his speech. But I figured I could get him to speak on my own. AND I DID!!! Unfortunately, speech wasn't his only problem!! I was real worried when he went to preschool, even though he was talking, I knew something wasn't quite right. So hang in there, speech therapy does take a bit, but it worked wonders for Nathan.

I'm sorry to hear about your Tyler not doing well with Jason. I just had a "sibling" episode a couple of days ago. My Tyler sat on my lap in tears saying that his brother is so mean and doesn't like him anymore. I tried to convince him that he did, and I went into all of Nathan's little ways.....but it didn't seem to comfort him that much. I even had Nathan come to apologize and tell his big brother that he did still love him and give him a hug. Being Nathan, he wasn't all that compassionate! LOL

Tyler does a great job with Nathan. He's extremely nurturing and helpful. Even when he was 2 and Nate was a baby, Ty would help feed him and teach him how to play. They're very close and do almost everything together. It's still very difficult for Tyler though. Especially trying to understand his little brother. He's trying, but his patience isn't all that great (but he is only 8!). I just try to praise the things that he does and make sure that I give him lots of attention. I hope things get better between your boys. I know how difficult it can be.

Having a brother has helped Nathan tremendously in my opinion. Tyler has taught him how to take turns, how to lose (which Nathan still hates!), how to play video games, and I'm sure he has also helped Nathan with his imaginary play skills. Nathan didn't take much to his stuffed animals either....but he does now. He even likes some puppets too!!!

Anyway, I just wanted to respond and give you a look at my life with my 2 boys! Hope to talk again!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 8:27pm

Hi again "twin" on the board LOL...you know with the sibling thing, I truly believe it ultimately benefits both siblings despite the hardships of living with the autism issues. My sister and I were 9 years apart so I essentially felt like an only child. I know so many people who come from families where they have brothers and sisters close in age and barely even speak to them anymore except for at Christmas. I guess though having someone around when you are growing up is good despite what your relationship as adults is to be like.

I do think for our young sons with asd to have an older td sibling is a built in tool to have to deal with others around you and at least sense they are there and hopefully pick up somthing by osmosis. I know Tyler ultimately will be Jason's biggest advocate and protector but I want him to come to that by himself not because I expect it.

Sometimes Tyler goes and kisses Jay on the head or hugs him even though Jay always gets mad. The thing is Tyler tries as we all do.

I really felt for your son's pain in your post, I wish I could hug him myself which is why I used the teddy bear icon. I always have wondered about getting a pet for these boys. Do you have any pets?

Anyone else's thoughts on pets?

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 12:16pm

Jen,

Actually, I have heard that kids on the spectrum do extremely well with pets. Unfortunately, we're all allergic!!! Nathan seems to like animals.....but from a distance. He's a bit scared unless someone is holding an animal, and he's assured that he won't be attacked!!

That's sweet that Tyler gives his brother kisses!! My boys do that too. My Tyler is getting too old to do the mushy stuff with his brother though. They do still hug, Nathan loves to give Tyler kisses and he loves to smell him too! LOL (Nathan likes to smell!) Nathan is always smelling me, and my hair, my skin, my clothes.....it's funny and sweet! He's extremely affection at home, but usually on his terms...only when he wants it!! LOL

My boys engage in alot of wrestling too. I think this is also how they show affection with one another. For some reason, they don't mind any part of their bodies touching each other....I know most siblings are grossed out if their sibling touches them!...but not my boys. They will stop---mid wrestling, arms and feet all tangled up---just to watch something funny on TV!!!!! It's funny to watch!

Tyler is extremely concerned for Nathan. Just the other day he asked me how he was doing in school. He wanted to know every detail about Nathan's school day...and if he's getting better in any particular area. It was sweet. And when they were younger, and Nathan was sick one night....Tyler cried because he was worried if Nathan would be ok (Nathan had a fever)---My boys are really sweet, even though they still argue at times, I know that deep down they mean the world to each other.

Michelle