My formal introduction

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
My formal introduction
5
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 11:29pm
Hi, my name is Carey. I have been lurking here for a little while, have posted once about school issues, and even replied to a post or two. I realized I have never formally introduced myself. I have 6 boys ages, 10, 9, 7, 7, 3, and 2. My 9 year old has a dx of pdd-nos, this is recent. He also diagnosed him with anxiety disorder and adhd. The school however says he doesn't meet criteria, and I feel like I am fighting them all the way. He does have an IEP tomorrow, we'll see how it goes. He is a sweet and charming little boy, very adorable, and because of this, they, or I should say one social worker in particular, doesn't want to see that he has issues. She says he is just so immature, I think give him another year in forth grade blah blah blah... He needs help, not to repeat a grade that is is passing all his subjects in. How stupid is that? Anyway, I am 33 years old, been married almost 12 years, have 3 dogs, 4 cats, 3 turtles and 3 bunnies. Too many pets and too many kids ahhhhh! I really like this board because everybody here just seems so real, and don't mind airing their dirty laundry for all of to learn from. My 2 year old has Down Sydrome and I have tried a few boards/groups, and I felt very ill at ease. I had questions and concerns, and apparantly my son is the only Down's kid on the planet that is NOT going to be perfectly normal! This place is such a breath of fresh air! At least I know that with my 9 year old I'm going to get straight answers from y'all Thank you all so much!
Carey
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:24am

Hey Carey,
Well yes, we do air our dirty laundry, lol....probably too much sometimes:) Goodness what a mess of boys (and I won't even go into the animals....what a lotta poop;) I hear you about those who think they shall suddenly find a "cure" for their child. Been there done that.

I remember reading a book once that likened Downs as being the opposite of Aspergers or pdd. But, honestly, I have no clue; I ook care of a lil' girl for a few summers with moderate Downs (she was 4, and 5 at the time). She was sweet but would still have a tantrum if she didn't get her "bic" cookie.

I have three kids, 2 boys and a girl. Liam (7) ASD/ADHD/Mood disorder-nos and Cian (4) at risk for Aspergers/Add, Roan (6 months 6 months-sems NT for now)

Welcome to the dirty laundry,

Dee:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:34am

Welcome, Carey!!! We're glad you found us.

You're not likely to find any delusional folks around here. (Well, except on nights when a couple of us get to drinking cyber alcohol...but that's another story entirely.) You'll find that a lot of us deal with not only a spectrum disorder, but ADD/ADHD, anxiety issues, etc. Many of the various disorders go and hand-in-hand with ASD's.

Okay, quick bit of advice before I head to bed...

Go with your gut, but...

If I were you, I would not let them hold your son back because of "immaturity" issues. I fought this same battle with my almost 10 year old son way back in kindergarten. Even though he was advanced academically, they wanted him to repeat because of immaturity issues. Well here's the reality, kids with PPD-NOS aren't likely to "catch up" on maturity. It just doesn't work that way for our kids. What typically ends up happening is they get bored out of their minds, and then you REALLY start to see behavior issues. Honestly, I think this is an admin. ploy to save money, or at the very least, just be really flippin' lazy! It's easy for them to say, "let's just hold him back" because then they don't have to spend the time or the energy to help your son be successful!

I fought the school tooth and nail, and in the end, our son stayed home for a year between K and 1st grade. (Obviously that's not an option for you, but I wanted to let you know what we did.) Looking back now, I regret having made that decision. I should've pushed the district harder to advance him to 1st grade. Now that he's finishing 3rd grade, he struggles with being bored by the classwork, and with not having any friends his own age.

Just my 2 cents...but I wanted to share.

Hugs To You~

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 8:52am

Hi Carey!

Welcome, glad you found us.

I agree w/ Amy, fight tooth and nail to keep him from being held back. the 'immaturity' is not going to catch up by being held back. The only way he's going to 'catch up' is with therapy and supports for his needs at school. School districts don't like to shell out money for things that don't improve their scores or their bottom line. fight for him to get what he needs.

I have 5 children, Warren 15 dx w/ ADD-NOS (lots of AS characteristics but not enough for an AS dx) also has sever allergies, eczema and asthma, Amelia 13 NT, Weston 10 ASD, Martha 7 just dx w/ dyslexia and short-term memory problems (possibly a auditory processing disorder, we're having additional testing next week), and Owen 5 probably ADHD but no official Dx.

Our son Weston had a VERY difficult 2nd grade year. His teacher wrote in his file that he'd never be able to learn in a mainstream classroom situation and that he should be moved to a full time SDC. We moved 1/2 way across the US over the next summer and amazingly, he was fully mainstreamed in the new school district with lots of supports and did very well. He's still fully mainstreamed and has been moved to gifted classes for math and language arts. He still is very 'immature' and has all the problems that a typical ASD child has, but he's able to handle it with good supports. He'll be in middle school in the fall-- we'll see what new things that brings.

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:50am
Hi Carey!
Welcome! That's alot of boys to chase after :). I have a son, Nick who is 5 who is ADHD with anxiety and we are having him evaluated for AS as well. This morning I could have fired up the blender with a nice cold margarita at 7:45! This is a great board, lots of knowledge and tons of great support! I am fairly new here too but already feel right at home. Nice to have you!
Christine

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Christine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 3:39pm
Hi carey,
welcome,my you do have your hands full,my son has pdd nos and you'll find some great tips and stratagies here.Everyone i've chatted to have been really helpful.
yvonne xxx