New to board - have 3yo and expecting #2

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
New to board - have 3yo and expecting #2
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Thu, 11-09-2006 - 5:52pm

Hi all. I have a son who is almost 3 and a half years old who probably has PDD-NOS. We thought at first it was just SID (sensory integration dysfunction), but in addition to sensory issues, he has some obsessions (light bulbs, batteries, smoke detectors, etc.) and some mild developmental delays. However, he has made good progress in our EI program and now in his preschool class, which has kids with special needs and those developing typically. He gets speech and occupational therapy while at school.

I am now pregnant with our second and last child. I just found out we are having another boy, and I was soooo hoping for a girl, thinking a girl would be less likely to have sensory issues. I don't know if I can deal with another child with the severe feeding issues my son has. I just hope God won't give me another child with those issues. Our son does not chew food now, so we have to cut up food a lot and we have to feed him. He doesn't like to eat very much either. It has been a major pain to deal with, and still is to this day.

Did any of you have to deal with the chance of having another autism spectrum child? Did any of you go on to have "NT" kids, especially boys, after having one on the spectrum?

Michelle
Mom to Kyle, born 5-28-03
EDD #2 3-31-07

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 6:32pm

HI there,

I have 4 children, my oldest 2 are on the spectrum, my youngest 2 are not.

It is not just a boy thing, my oldest and first spectrum child is a girl. In fact I have a boy and a girl on the spectrum and a boy and a girl who are not.

Also, just because one had feeding issues doesn't mean the other one will. My youngest is ADHD and SID (not autistic) so I have 3 with some special needs and all 3 are vastly different particularly with regards to thier sensory issues. My most autistic had the least issues with food and clothing but he hates to be touched.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 7:56pm

Hi Michelle,


Welcome!


Before I forget, we have chat tonight (and every Thursday) at 10 Eastern, 9 Central and 7 Pacific.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 8:58pm

Welcome~

We should probably set some limit on having Renee, Paula and I all three respond (Where's Candes to complete our motley quartet???), as while our experiences are somewhat different, we've all pretty much been through just about everything there is to go through when it comes to manuevering our way through the spectrum, school districts, etc. When you add in the rest of the "gang" on this board, you'll find an amazing means of support, information, etc.

Two of my three kids (the oldest and youngest) are "on the spectrum"-my oldest, a boy, is less affected than his sister (the youngest). Our middle child (female) is neurotypical.

In terms of eating issues, my youngest has a severely self-limited diet. We've been fighting it since she stopped breastfeeding. Nowadays, we're a bit pickier about our battles. As long as she continues to grow, and make developmental gains, we don't beat ourselves up over the fact that she doesn't get anything close to a balanced diet. My son doesn't like to try new foods, but in general, eats typical 9 year old fare.

Like Paula said, you'll handle whatever life throws at you. That's what we do. That's why God chose WOMEN to be the bearers of life. (WOW! That's the most sexist thing I've ever typed!!! LOL)

Amy




Edited 11/9/2006 9:00 pm ET by manec93

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 10:08pm

Welcome to the board Michelle!


I am so happy you posted and just jumped right in with your first question.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 10:25pm

Yikes!

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 4:38pm

I have an NT...my 2nd child is COMPLETELY neurotypical! I swear!!! (running off to find some wood to knock on)

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 11:02am

Well, as with any genetic predisposition the chance of it occurring in subsequent children is always a bit higher.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 8:00pm

You hit on a good point Dee.

Often with each ASD child you have, the chances of having another increases (after you have 2 it increases exponentially). I had 2 and so was at a hugely high risk to have more but my other 2 are not on the spectrum though the youngest likes to flirt with the edges of the spectrum, I think for him it is personality traits and will work out to be a positive for him. Just makes mom nuts.

Also, even with an increased risk the odds are on your side for the 2nd child not to be ASD.

For instance, you have a 1/166 chance of having 1 child with ASD. That is about 0.5%. Then when you have one I believe the chances of having an ASD child is like 3% (from what I recall. I may be a little off on that number but not much). So you still have a 97% chance the child will be typical.

Once you have 2 I believe then your chances go up to like 20% or 33%, or 1/5 or 1/3. Still odds are in your favor that the child will not be ASD.

So I agree best thing to do is keep an eye out but try and relax and just enjoy the baby.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Sun, 11-12-2006 - 3:37pm

Hi Michelle,

Just chiming in to say that DH and I just decided to TTC #4. Yikes!

Anyway, my DS (age 5) is PDD-NOS and his two sisters (one older and one younger) are completely typical. In fact, I have one kid who won't talk and two who won't shut up!

I don't know whether it's anecdotal or not, but I have heard that it's usually the first son who is ASD. (I know... there are exceptions.) But it holds true among my ASD friends with 2 DSs.... it's always been their 1st DS.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

HTH,
Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 10:23am

Hi! I have two boys.....Vaughn (8 yrs) is my aspie and Jack (2 yrs) is NT.

Christie

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