New here- Husband has AS and son may too

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
New here- Husband has AS and son may too
11
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 3:47pm

Hi folks,

I have been lurking for a while and thought I should introduce myself.

After being with my husband for over 15 years (married 12) and struggling with many aspects of our marriage, I finally found out that my husband has Aspergers Syndrome.

No one ever mentioned it, until my it occurred to my in-laws to mention that my FIL probably has AS -- only after I was pregnant :( Needless to say that my initial concerns were for my unborn child, and then after he was born and I wasn't getting the type of emotional support that one would expect from a typical relationship after our son was born, things started going downhill quickly.

When my son was 18 months old, my husband decided that since I was stressed and unhappy in our marriage that the logical solution was to get a divorce.....

Only after we separated did it occur to me that my husband may himself have Aspergers and the more I read, the more I was sure that it was the case.

In the mean time, our son was exhibiting some minor delays and potential red flag behavior, so I got him evaluated and he has been getting early intervention including OT, PT and Speech as well as going to a fantastic Early Intervention pre-school program which has been tremendously helpful.

Our son is high-functioning and very bright, and his behaviors and idiosyncrasies are subtle so he may not "qualify" for an official dx at this time -- and I am thankful that he is doing so well -- since I hear so many stories about kids who miss out on the window of early intervention and only get the attention they need when they are 5-6 years old or even older.

Anyhow, I'm still trying to learn as much as possible, because I would rather err on the side of caution and getting the needed services, because I know all to well what the consequences are of living with a high-functioning undiagnosed adult who is never wrong, very literal, and clueless when it comes to basic "common sense" and who is incapable of being supportive and attentive intuitively.

Thanks for listening

Michelle -- aka NotCAATY=Not Crazy After All These Years




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 7:48pm
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