New - Intro

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
New - Intro
7
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:10pm

I have been lurking on this board for about a month now, so I figured I would introduce myself.


A little about me…


My name is Crystal (28,), married to Lennie (29) and the proud mother of one.


 

 thFootpr

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: nathansmom712
Fri, 04-29-2005 - 9:59am
Thank you all so much for the warm welcome and for the advice.


 

 thFootpr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nathansmom712
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 3:47pm

welcome!

i just wanted to say that my older son is exactly 4 days younger then yours. he was diagnosed AS at 22 mos, as was my youngest with pdd-nos at 21 mos.

kudos to you for trying the toliet training. i'm not even attempting it right now as i don't think my son is anywhere near that point. i have read that most kids on the spectrum don't train until age 4 or 5.

i see also that by the bottom of you siggy that you are TTC. i was in that same spot awhile ago (PCO/clomid for first child--spontaneous with second). first one took awhile, then we were caught off guard at 10 weeks post partum with a + upt. hang in there!!

valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nathansmom712
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 3:00pm

Hi Crystal:


My DS - Adam is PDD-Nos -- I always refer to him as autistic -- much easier to explain than PDD-nos -- I wear the ribbon pin like Rene and feel proud and unashamed that my son has the disorder -- now that autism is more and more common (1 in 166 are diagnosed) -- People are beginning to understand.

Amy
 
Avatar for cathby
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
In reply to: nathansmom712
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 12:57pm

Hi Crystal,

Welcome!

I am Cathy and I'm here because my 3.10 year old DS is PDD-NOS. (I was married 3 weeks after you, by the way!)

I am still figuring out what to tell people... it depends. Sometimes I use PDD-NOS, but I don't think many people know what that is. Sometimes I use Austistic Spectrum. I'm still kinda' trying them on for size!

Not to discourage you, but we are STILL potty-training. We've had no luck. DS has sensory issues -- he underregisters. So I don't even think he's aware of when he is peeing. (sigh) But he tells us sometimes when he wants his diaper changed. We'll get there eventually. I'm just not gonna' beat myself up over it. He's not a typical kid and we're not dealing with typical timeframes here. My developmental ped. told me that she wouldn't even be worrying about it at this point.

Again, welcome!

Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: nathansmom712
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 10:30am

Hello, I'm pretty new here myself. It's funny that you ask about telling other people. My dh and I were just talking about that. We have started to tell people that she has developmental delays. For example, we recently moved and she wanted to play with the neighborhood girls. Well, I had to explain to the mom first about some of her issues because I wanted to make sure that if she said anything off the wall or inappropriate to them that they would be a little more understanding. I also wanted to make sure they knew why I was so paranoid about ceratin things. For example, if she's playing over at someon's house they need to call me to come get her (even if it's next door or across the street) because even though she's 8, she will totally wander off or just run into the street. The girl has NO safety awareness skills. As far as telling people her diagnosis, I rarely do (except close family and friends). Most people don't know what PDD is and have a vague understanding of Autism. Plus, since it is a spectrum disorder, I don't want peple to make assumptions about her abilities based on a label alone. Every kid is just so different. Anyway, that's how we handle it...sorry so long:) Oh, and as for the potty training, we didn't have any trouble. Though she wasn't trained until she was 3.5 and not at night until she was 4. But, we let her do it at her own pace with no pressure and were very successful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
In reply to: nathansmom712
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:54pm

Hi Crystal!

Welcome to the board! My son is named Nathan too! He's 6yrs old and HFA. His dx is autism, so I do use the word autism. In your case, I would tell people that he is PDD-NOS, and then explain what the initials stand for. I would then tell them that he's on the autism spectrum. I don't usually tell people that I casually meet, only if the situation calls for it. My family didn't see it either, but I had to explain to them that there are varying degrees of autism---different levels of severity.

Potty training was done at age 3yrs and 3mo. I didn't know he was autistic at the time, and I just trained him as I did his brother. I was very consistant with him. Once he understood what he was supposed to do....he did it. He was trained really fast. I think we only had about 2-4 accidents after that, and they were minor. He's a fast learner though. Not all moms have had this experience though. If you're having difficulties, maybe one of the other mom's who has been there could help better! Sorry!

And I always have people telling me things like, "Oh all kids do that", or "my kids do that too", and "don't worry, he'll grow out of it". People are always comparing him to other kids. I don't know if they're trying to make me feel better or what. Like that's just going to take away his dx or something!! I sometimes just don't respond, but sometimes I just tell them, "well, you're kids aren't autistic" or sometimes I have to tell them that he's autistic, it's not something you grow out of.

Anyway, Glad you came out of lurkdom!! Hope I helped answer your questions!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: nathansmom712
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:11am

Chrystal,

Welcome to our little home. It is hard to accept sometimes, especially when we and most people we know have a rainman view of autism. Most people prior to living with autism think that what they see on 20/20 or on made for tv movies or in the movies is autism. The child rocking in the corner, completely out of contact with the world and nothing could be further from the truth. sure there are some kids like that but there are many more who are not. Even those with severe autism as adults have been able to find ways to communicate through typing, etc, and really express themselves. There is a documentary about one such woman on CNN called "Autism is a World".

Not only do I have 3 kids dx'ed with various ASDs, I used to work with autistics, and DH is an autism specialist in a huge district. We have friends with children with autism spectrum disorders and a nephew with autism as well. I will tell you the saying "If you have seen one person with autism, you have seen one person with autism" is extremely true. There are similarities but that are all incredibly unique and there is such a huge range it is incredible. People with autism can range from adults who are successful and barely noticible in their differences, to others who are very noticable and need significant supports. That is why there is a change to the term autism spectrum disorder.

As far as telling family. Tell them it is an autism spectrum disorder. That there is a wide variety of what autism is and what his particular needs are. There are tons of great books and materials of info on it. If you check out the ASA website they have a downloadable brochure too that is really great. There are some books too they could read.

A wonderful friend once said, "To not speak of autism is to make it unspeakable". One thing I decided then is I don't want any part of my children to be unspeakable. They are who they are and we love them anyway. We have held always they are different, learn different and that is ok. God makes everyone different and everyone has strengths and challenges. My kids know they are AS and are pretty proud of it in fact. Mike insists that it makes him smarter than the average bear, which it does. he is not ready to deal with the challenges it makes him face. My 7 yo (and only typical child) asked me why she doesn't have something special like AS. I had to tell her what was special about her too, lol.

That is our take on it and how we explain it. We wear autism bracelets and are open with the info. Took us a while to get to this point though, but I feel it is the best way to go about it. They are who they are. If they were blind, diabetic, or in a wheelchair we would just deal with it and promote thier strengths. I feel the same about AS.

Renee

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