Sibling issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Sibling issues
12
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 6:32pm

Does anyone else have another child (NT or otherwise) who loves to evoke HUGE reactions from their ADHD/AS child? OMG my 4 year old daughter is constantly tormenting him because he blows up SO bad over the smallest things! I am constantly on her but GOD do I wish he could just IGNORE her or handle it in a more age appropriate manor for an 11 year old!! (I know this is not possible I JUST REALLY WISH IT WERE!!)

Thanks for letting me vent!
-Charlotte

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 11:44pm
Just a note on the lying thing. My son DOESN'T lie, and he has huge issues with gray areas. Everything is very black or white to him. He never exhibited much imaginitive play either. You are right. Lying is a developmental milestone.
Cindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Sat, 02-05-2005 - 11:28pm
Hi Charlotte!
Huge sibling issues at this household. My son, Derek, is 12 and HFA and my daughter Alexandra, age 10, knows every trick in the book to push his buttons. One time we were riding in the car. It was Derek, Alex, Grandma and me. Derek is very sensitive to certain sounds, so Alex starts making the irritating sound just under her breath. Derek starts screaming that Alex is bothering him, I'm yelling at Alex to stop making that noise, and Grandma is totally bewildered. We have such huge fights at this house that I have to separate them and put them in different rooms until things calm down. It's really strange...Alex loves to pick on her brother, but she will be the first to defend him if someone says he is weird!
Cindy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 4:43pm

Charlotte,

welcome. I so relate. My 4yo DD (Also AS, but v mild), usually so careful and reserved; becomes a thrill seeker and takes her life in her hands when it comes to her brother.

From before she could talk she figured out what would set him off: whether it was ruffling his hair, taking one of his "Thomas" trains, his favorite piece of string or *whatever*: She would do it and then run off at high speed, laughing and squealing hysterically, with him redfaced and growling in hot pursuit. He hit her quite hard a few time, choked her, and pushed her, and she is slowly learning not to do things like that; -especially if Mom is in the bathroom!

She has improved a little with age, BTW, so maybe there is hope for us!

-paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 4:30pm

I was in training yesterday on how to deal with difficult parents, ;^) , tee hee! Anyway the speaker asked the crowd of educators what they do if a parent says "My child never lies to me". I immediately blurted out "Lying is a developmental milestone, so if a child doesn't do it, after a certain age, isn't that a big red flag?" What a discussion I got going! The rest of the room just took that ball and ran with it! We talked 15 minutes about the benefits of lying! And, how pretend play, although it is different, is actually lying. Too funny!

Probably more then you wanted to know, though! Sorry...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 3:56pm
This just struck me funny so I thought I would share.
We were just driving home from Walmart and my 4 year daughter (nt?) got a princess cell phone. She was chatting away with some imaginary friend on the phone and James looks at her and then me and says "mom, when is she going to understand that she is talking to thin air?" I had the hardest time explaining to him that she knows that and enjoys pretending that someone is really on the phone....His response was "why?" ...."wierd" lol!
-Charlotte
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 11:34am

Charlotte, I'm totally there with you!

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 9:15pm

Ok, I am completely cracking up at this thread cause sibling issues are my life.

Charlotte, I apologize I didn't welcome you appropriately earlier. I always forget to scroll down this far. I have 4 kiddos, 2 with AS and one with ADHD. I have a 10 y.o. dd and 8 y.o. ds with ASD and a 4 (nearly 5) y.o. ds with ADHD plus a 6 y.o. dd who is NT but appears to have learning issues.

Needless to say my life is a constant mass of intervening in sibling issues. The biggest problem is the 4 y.o. ADHD one bugging the 8 y.o. ASD one (who has problems with behavioral outbursts)

Oh, oH, I hear another arguement so gotta go, just wanted to say I can relate.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 6:00pm
Same exact thing here. He begged for a sister when he was little, went through every detail of her development in utero with a calender from the OB. When she was born and until she walked and talked too he was a great big brother. AND THEN....lol
-Charlotte
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 5:54pm
My dd just turned 3....ds liked her until she could walk and talk---what can I say -she pushed his buttons.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 10:31am

Oh, thank god I am not alone on this one! My daugher (btw she JUST turned 4) loves to get my 11 AS DS going and then look at him and say "chill out James" He turns three shades of purple and I can only say it is a small miracle that he has not throttled her yet. I have never seen anyone get so angry so fast. When he was little it was more of an emotional meltdown and although this still happens (less frequently since we started the fish oil) he is more prone to getting angry when he is frustrated now. We practice allot of breathing aroung here lol!

-Charlotte

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