Socially Outgoing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Socially Outgoing?
8
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 9:28am

We are in the process of diagnosis still for the AS/PDD.

Does anyone else child fit every other catagory for diagnosis other than being socially withdrawn?? My son is very outgoing he's just really "bad" at it. This is the one thing that has me stumped.

Thanks
-Charlotte

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 8:01pm
My daughter is so social that I actually wonder on a daily basis if she really has PDD-NOS. (Of course an hour later I'm convinced she does.) We've had her evaluated by three different psychologists trying to figure it out, two of the three said no she doesn't have it. I've actually been told by multiple people in my and my husband's family that I'm the one with the problem and I should see a psychiatrist. No one believes she has it. Of course I'm the one who's with her all day and no one has been able to come up with another explanation for her problems. It's very stressful for me though because I feel like I'm fighting this alone, plus she's not eligible for any services through the county or school district.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-26-2005 - 10:21am

yes, my son austin is very social. he recently was diagnosed with pdd. he is very engaging, makes great eye contact. had little to no problem with other people and likes interacting with other kids.

but if watched extremely closely, the eye contact can be fleeting. he has other delays that qualify him for diagnosis. but the social piece throws everyone off.

valerie

~Valerie
Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 10:58pm

I notice it's been ages since your question was posted, so I hope you actually end up seeing this, Charlotte. Have you ever read "Raising Your Spirited Child"? The author gives a really good description of introverts and extroverts. Some people, introverts, just feel drained after being in a social group, like a party or something. It's not that they are shy, necessarily, or that they don't like people. They just feel drained, and need to recharge by being alone, or with a close friend for a while. Then there are the extroverts. They feel lonely and bored without a social group. A get-together with lots of people energizes them.

I'm no expert, but these categories seem pretty true to me (I know I fit neatly into the first one). There is no reason, at least none that I can see, that a person couldn't be autistic (or have social phobia, or any number of things) and still be an extrovert at heart.

Just a thought.

Evelyn, mom of David 7 and Nathan 3

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 5:02pm

LOL,
Here is an example of "when they are older" brace yourself.
DO NOT SAY ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT REPEATED!!!

Once James wanted to sleep over a friends house, this kid invited him and since that kind of thing is so few and far between he was hell bent on going. I have met the family and there is just something "not right" over there so I said no. When he hounded and hounded me for a "good" reason I made the mistake of saying "I am just not comfortable with the family and house" WELL LET ME TELL YOU.......BIG MISTAKE....

When K asked James if he could sleep over my son replied "NO!, my mom doesn't like your house and your family!!!"" AHHHHH!!! I should have known better but sometimes I still forget that he doesn't have these social rules down pat!! This was not the first time this kind of thing has happened and I am sure it wont be the last!! lol!

-Charlotte

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:56pm

Charlotte,

Nathan doesn't like it when I talk to other people either. He will actually tell me, "Stop talking...you're talking too much", and literally try to drag me away, or interrupt the conversation inhopes that the other person will find "his" topic more interesting. And when I'm on the phone (like with my sister), he'll say, "You need to get off the phone, you've been talking all day." And then when I get off the phone.....he's gone. He just wanted me OFF THE PHONE. I guess mom's are not aloud to have any "me" time.

I am a bit nervous about how he will be when he's older. He just tells it like it is....does not hold back. He's so brave around his dad, although dh still can't help but laugh. Nathan is a real crack up. It's just when you combine his tone of voice, body language, and that "I'm right, you're wrong attitude".......tooo funny! Not so sure how funny it will be coming out a teenager's mouth though!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2005
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 7:48pm

Michelle,
I couldn't stop laughing when I read you post, that is EXACTLY how James was when he was younger. Stories about the entire family to complete strangers!! ALL THE TIME!
He also use to tell all these crazy stories about someone named Tommy and to this day we have no idea who "Tommy" is lol!

Now, he is just annoyed if I spend any time talking to someone he doesn't know, and he's pretty vocal about it. He will pace and complain and it can get pretty embarrassing because he's 11. BUT, if he knows the person at ALL (like even someone he casully met once) he will start in on anything and everything of interest to him. on and on and on..why they despiratly try to be polite and pull away...he will just start talking louder and faster to get it all in. They have no idea what or who he is talking about and he is ALWAYS sharing things that don't need to be shared lol!

-Charlotte

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 7:22pm

Charlotte,

Nathan is very social. He is always stiking up conversations with others. He walks up to babies, kids, adults....doesn't matter. Unfortunately, he is also very "bad" at it!!!

He is always talking about something that nobody really cares about. Or he will just start talking about something that happened to him....sorta mid sentence....and no one has any idea what he's talking about. I always have to jump in and fill in the blanks. He also likes to tell people where his dad or brother is---at work, at school, etc. And he'll go on and on about this stuff. Alot of times he will talk to people about his brother or dad, people he has just met, that have no idea who "Tyler" is!! LOL

And it actually "bothers" him if people don't listen or talk to him. It hurts his feelings a bit. I have to try and explain things to him all the time. He seems to be able to read me and the family ok.....but he's not good at understanding why people act the way they do. He's very concrete in his thinking. He doesn't understand "circumstances"----like why people have to leave, why aren't they listening to me, why are they talking so loud, don't they KNOW that it hurts my ears!!! Stuff like that!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 1:19pm

Mike was socially outgoing and still can be when he is doing really well. It actually postponed his diagnosis for us. See our older dd is ASD too and she was withdrawn. He was outgoing so we were convinced he COULDN"T be ASD. We were soooooo wrong. He is the most autistic of the 3 in the family.

Mike is the same, was outgoing but bad at it. Annoyed other kids, didn't know what to do, didn't pick up on social cues. Well unfortunately as he has gotten older he has had enough failures that he usually isn't socially outgoing anymore. WHen he is in a good place he will and even made a friend recently. However, as soon as they really started to be friends, Mike started getting short and mean with him. This is typical now because he is so unsure of his social abilities he just pushes the kids away. He does better on a aquaintance type basis and movign from kid to kid.

Unfortunately now, for the most part Mike plays alone and doesn't approach other kids. At least last year when he was in a typical class that is how it was. THis year he is in a special class and they are working on social skills and he has more supports so he is starting to play more with other kids again.

Oh, yes, and my little guy who was just diagnosed PDD is not socially withdrawn. He can be when overstimulated but otherwise is pretty socially outgoing. Just again doesn't read cues that well and tends to bug kids. He isn't quite 5 so hasn't had alot of failures at it yet. Hopefully with some intervention he won't.

Renee

Photobucket