Which of these does not belong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Which of these does not belong?
6
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 8:27pm

Hi there, my name is Gretchen, I'm 23, and I have Asperger's Syndrome.


For some odd reason, I had this sudden urge to share my story with someone who might understand. My family has still yet to see that their unawareness of my developmental issues has impacted me for so long.


Where to start? Let's start 20 odd years ago, when I was first building friendships and learning to communicate. I couldn't make friends. I simply didn't know how. I had one friend who I fought with all the time and who grew up with me, but as we grew older and I entered into my middle school years, she sensed something was different about me, and started to stray and push away.


I grew up feeling alone. I played alone because I didn't know how to ask someone else to play with me. I started reading at a young age and I started reading every chance I got.


Music was a huge part of my childhood as well. I sang a couple of times in front of my church and was really interested in it. I would sing the same songs over and over and over again. I was always the new kid in school and therefore the outcast, and with my inability to relate to anyone, I didn't know how to make new friends. I was the "odd" one...the one who never seemed to belong. The friends I did have talked about me behind my back and eventually left me alone too. I went to 12 schools before graduation and I probably maintained two friendships which were stranger than strange.


Because religion was a big part of my life, I brought my Bible to school with me everyday. I didn't understand why kids started throwing food at me at lunch and rocks at me as I sang on my way home. I refused to tell my family this, and kept it to myself. I would shut my bedroom door when I got home, which didn't matter anyways, since no one would be home for hours.


My sensory issues didn't help any of course and made it hard to concentrate. I felt so drained walking home everyday...walking past the kids laughing at me saying "Whatcha singing now Gretchen!? Huh?", "Run home Gretchen run home!", "You are SO weird Gretchen"...or worst of all "Why are

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Wed, 06-24-2009 - 10:17pm

Gretchen,

Hi! You are certainly welcome here, but this board is mostly moms who have kids on the spectrum, so you probably won't get a whole lot of people who personally relate much to what you've written. Hearing what you have to say would be helpful to us, as parents, though, because we are always wondering what makes our kids tick.

If you are looking for people who understand what you're going through, and who can relate, then you might want to try http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums.html That's where you'll find other adult aspies with stories similar to your own. There are quite a few young women around your age who post often, and have similar stories to yours.

:)

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 11:01am

Hi Gretchen,

I read your story and really feel for you. I too was an outsider at school for the most part and was horribly teased from 5th to 9th grade. Although I"m not on the spectrum, I appreciate how hard it is to not have someone on your side. I hope you are able to use the internet to connect with some other women on the spectrum - the wrongplanet site is a great one, although you'll find that most people on the spectrum are men.

You're welcome to hang out here and meet the moms who are trying their best to raise their children on the spectrum in loving supportive ways. I'm sorry that you didn't have the love and support you needed as a child. It's a crummy way to live. Hopefully you can build a new world with new friends that love and support you to make up for all the pain in the past.

Wishing you the best in your future life....

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 10:31pm

I read your entire post. I am so happy to hear from you. Of course, you can keep posting on this board. There are also boards for people with ASD and chats. I am not sure where they are, but I have heard them mentioned before.


Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
Thu, 07-09-2009 - 10:43pm
I hate loud music, any music really, and heat too. I also have anxiety problems. I have always had troubles sleeping at night. Do you too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Fri, 07-10-2009 - 11:39am

Well I love music but if it's too loud I get very aggitated. Heat is horrible for me. I get so aggitated that I think I've hurt people's feelings because of how snappy I get...

I worry about kids with AS because I know how badly I got picked on...I think that a support group of friends that know and understand is so important...I never had that and my mother insisted that I was just fine and normal and that people would come around.

After 12 years of being picked on and called names...I think she finally accepted I was different...but my dx was a low blow for her. She never made the connection between my lack of response when she called my name as a kid, my attention span, my inability to relate to kids my age, my sensory issues...she just didn't want to accept it and in the end, I was suicidal as a teen. I really was. I felt so misunderstood. I mean I know everyone has a hard time as a teen but I felt tortured...rocks thrown at me...dirt...food...anything they could think of...threatening harm...*sighs* Just be there for your son. Accept his dx and know that he does the best he can.

I feel like I give 120% at work and in reality only end up doing 95% of my job. So to my boss, I'm lazy...and yet for me..I'm giving it everything I've got...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Fri, 07-10-2009 - 11:41am
my email is miss_gretchen21@yahoo.com and I'm on yahoo messenger. Everyone is free to IM me or email me because I have a hard time remembering this site...