Which of these does not belong?
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|Wed, 06-24-2009 - 8:27pm|
Hi there, my name is Gretchen, I'm 23, and I have Asperger's Syndrome.
For some odd reason, I had this sudden urge to share my story with someone who might understand. My family has still yet to see that their unawareness of my developmental issues has impacted me for so long.
Where to start? Let's start 20 odd years ago, when I was first building friendships and learning to communicate. I couldn't make friends. I simply didn't know how. I had one friend who I fought with all the time and who grew up with me, but as we grew older and I entered into my middle school years, she sensed something was different about me, and started to stray and push away.
I grew up feeling alone. I played alone because I didn't know how to ask someone else to play with me. I started reading at a young age and I started reading every chance I got.
Music was a huge part of my childhood as well. I sang a couple of times in front of my church and was really interested in it. I would sing the same songs over and over and over again. I was always the new kid in school and therefore the outcast, and with my inability to relate to anyone, I didn't know how to make new friends. I was the "odd" one...the one who never seemed to belong. The friends I did have talked about me behind my back and eventually left me alone too. I went to 12 schools before graduation and I probably maintained two friendships which were stranger than strange.
Because religion was a big part of my life, I brought my Bible to school with me everyday. I didn't understand why kids started throwing food at me at lunch and rocks at me as I sang on my way home. I refused to tell my family this, and kept it to myself. I would shut my bedroom door when I got home, which didn't matter anyways, since no one would be home for hours.
My sensory issues didn't help any of course and made it hard to concentrate. I felt so drained walking home everyday...walking past the kids laughing at me saying "Whatcha singing now Gretchen!? Huh?", "Run home Gretchen run home!", "You are SO weird Gretchen"...or worst of all "Why are