Fearful kids need ... criticism? Say What???

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Fearful kids need ... criticism? Say What???
3
Fri, 08-12-2011 - 4:50pm

This study done over several years has some intriguing results. Some seem intuitive common sense. Some, not so much, but I'll have to think about that some more.

When parenting style is tailored to the child's personality, the child is better adjusted. OK. That makes sense, and is what parents here have been saying over the years. But there is more in the details...

Key to a Well-Adjusted Child: Tailored Parenting?



If the child has the ability to self-regulate, focus and stay on task, they had more symptoms of anxiety and depression if their mothers were controlling, but if the child did not have this ability, the child had MORE symptoms of anxiety and depression if the mother was NOT stricter, parenting in a more structured way, with tighter reins.


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:20pm
I think the whole thing is pretty confusing! I do get where you sometimes need to be more critical to a high fear child so they learn to hopefully not give in to their fears. What do you do if your child meets more than one of these types? If they are irritable and frustrated along with being high fear?

I think that it all comes down to the fact that parenting is not easy ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 8:48am

What do you do if your child meets more than one of these types? If they are irritable and frustrated along with being high fear? 

Well, as it says - tailor responses to the needs of the kids. One size does not fit all.

It says:

"For kids who are prone to irritability and frustration, . . . “When parents are low in criticism, these kids ended the study with levels of anxiety similar to kids without high irritability and frustration,” says Lengua.

So what do you do? Criticize their fear, or not?


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 2:58pm
Totally agree! Very good point about acknowledging their fears but then showing them with your actions that there is nothing to fear.