Not sure what to do...

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Not sure what to do...
2
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 4:37pm

I talked in a previous post about taking one of my boys to a psychologist to get help with some behavior issues.  98% of the time he is so easy to deal with, very even-keeled, agreeable and sweet.  Out of my four boys, he's by far the easiest to deal with!  The other 2% though, while not awful, really needed some attention.  He has trouble controlling his anger in certain situations and it's causing issues occasionally.   I already knew going into this that he does have some anxiety issues, but I think they are manageable.  

The guy we are seeing seems okay, but I'm not getting as much help with behavior modification as I would like.  We do a lot of talking in the sessions, but not much teaching, if that makes sense.  He also keeps bringing up depression, which I honestly don't believe is an issue with my son.  I see no signs of it, he's active, social, doesn't seem down at all for any amount of time.  We run into problems mostly when it's a game where a prize is at stake, or where the other players aren't following the rules.  A former teacher, who's opinion I trust, related it to how somebody on the spectrum sees everything in black and white, very structured with how games should be played.  We don't have a problem with sports for the most part because there are refs and coaches running the game.  

There have been a few times in therapy where he'll get upset talking about a particular incident, but he's also sensitive.  If you bring up an instance were he behaved poorly, he knows it was wrong and feels bad, thus the tears.  If you bring up a subject that has scared him or he has anxiety about, such as death, than expect to see some tears.  He overcomes it pretty quickly and doesn't affect him afterwards.  I think I'd be more worried if he didn't show any emotion when talking about some of these things.  

I know this is a brief picture of him, but is anything I'm describing seem to be depression at all to you?  There is no way I'm willing to medicate him for behavior that is rarely seen.  I'm just trying to get him coping skills so he can handle it when it comes up.  I'm also wondering if it's time to seek a new therapist.  Also, I don't think I'm a parent with their head in the sand, is there anything else I should be looking for?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 03-04-2013 - 1:37pm
Thanks for the info. I was talking with one of his former teachers about it, and she said that she thinks some of it derives from his anxieties and not being able to control the situation. I'll have to do some research on punitive personality type.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2013
Thu, 02-28-2013 - 11:42pm

I think that you're  correct in describing your  child as having a strong sense of fairness and justice,  and I believe that this is why he is so hard on himself, bc he applies his strict moral code to himself as well. i heard a psychologist describe this as a punitive personality type. I think it's great your son has established a moral code, but understand that you don't wish for him to be so hard on himself. Moral relativism is a sophisticated concept, which he'll understand later in life. I am a SPED teacher, and can share wth you a great site for materials and information on behavior modifications-interventioncentral.org. best of luck