"Pre-homosexual"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
"Pre-homosexual"
3
Sat, 01-15-2011 - 11:29am

I loved this article from Scientific American-Mind written scientifically but closer to the end having a wonderful first-person commentary to it. http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=is-your-child-a-prehomosexual-forec-2010-09-15

The line at the end, about what would happen if we really knew very early in life if our child would be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual caught me off-guard and I felt pain at the thought -

" it must be pretty hard to look into your prehomosexual toddler’s limpid eyes, brush away the cookie crumbs from her cheek, and kick her out of the house for being gay.


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 1:22pm

That was a great article, and I loved that it was from the point of view of someone that has lived through it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 8:53am
I am not sure I would know what preparation... what should he say when asked... and questions about sex... dating... I am not sure I'd know. I might have been the parent that worried - not about it being known in the family and among friends - but at school where my child might be bullied and life made miserable and dangerous. Or maybe I'd want to move to a less homophobic, hateful area - you know, to a more "heathen" accepting, open area of the country.

People used to wonder why my younger daughter wasn't learning to drive at 16. That whole year they kept asking. They'd jump to conclusions. I was glared at. Neighbors made wry remarks, glancing over and saying things to her like "Mom won't let you, huh?" In actuality, she had medical issues going on and could not drive. I told her she was welcome to just blame it on me. Let them think it was because of me because getting into the real "WHY" is just none of their business and she didn't want to talk about it. She refused to outright lie. She refused to tell them it was because of me, but, we let them believe whatever they wanted to believe.

So how do you answer "Why aren't you dating a nice girl?" A friend's son did not date in high school. I actually did wonder if he was gay but I never said anything. Here's the thing - he is NOT. He was just so wrapped up in his friends, very hyperactive, skateboarded, played ice hockey, and is/was very artistic and so also wrapped up in art. School was hard for him, so the rest of the time he was studying.

So a good answer? Maybe shrugging shoulders and saying "Because I have so much else going on in my life."

www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:15am

Why did people care whether or not she was driving yet?