Suicidal thoughts w/o depression ???

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Suicidal thoughts w/o depression ???
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Tue, 11-09-2010 - 7:36pm

How does this work? My 8yo has mentioned suicide before, about a year or so, and after some discussion figured it was a form of speech where playing video games has messed up his vocabulary.

But today he told me, sometimes he wants to jump into a busy street. Sometimes he wants to put the hair dryer into water while holding it.

"I want to kill myself" this time it is not a phrase adopted b/c it's a quick way to restart his video game.

Then! He didn't even realized he's said it out loud. Wondering why I'm sitting and talking to him about it. He claims he only started to feel this way since his finger was slammed in a car door on August 6th. It was quite a bad slam & most likely will be scared. Due to his fingernail he's still healing from it. This is the worst injury he's ever encountered. He is a very safe boy - always fearful of getting hurt.

But is he sad? NO.H
e laughs, plays & says he's happy all the time.

Is he a loner? NO.
He has so many friends we've had to put a fund aside just for presents and his bday parties.

Is he having a hard time at school? NO.
It is on the easy side, but not too easy.

There are absolutely no other signs of a suicidal person.

Do I need take seriously - yes, I know I do. But I must say I'm very confused. It's going to be a fight with my H. I know he'll think I'm over reacting. We went through this last time he mentioned it. He thinks he's too young. But jeeze, I wonder at what age he started to think that way?

Then again, so did I. I had suicidal thoughts all through my life. But not once was I suicidal (except during my 1st pg for the 1st trimester - turns out progesterone effects me very, very bad). But I was also depressed & raised in a neglected household. This boy is far from neglected & he's not over-shadowed either.

:(




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 1:24pm

This highlights the huge variation in us. Yes, people can be "depressed" in a way - ie have suicidal thoughts and NOT NOT NOT act depressed one little bit. AND - it is such a misguided idea that "mental illness" comes from lack of good parenting or from an abusive or neglectful home environment!

Obsessive thoughts about self harm can be a form of OCD. Or it can be an emotional problem. Perhaps HE thinks he did something bad to deserve punishment.

You can drive yourself "crazy" wondering "why."

BTW - I used to have obsessive suicidal thoughts yet was NOT suicidal. I did not ACT depressed, but I was just under so much stress at the time, that I was depressed just inside. To me, the thoughts actually made me feel better. They were somehow cathartic. Like you, I was not actually suicidal, so I know what you are talking about!


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for firstglimpse
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 3:13pm

Thanks ... I really hope he takes after me & not dad. I hope these are not early signs of bipolar, but of only anxiety (I say only - I realize that anxiety is not an only - but compared to bipolar, it's an only).

I'm all too aware of suicide. My MIL died of suicide & I've assisted my H away from suicide more times than should be.

My H is freaking out - telling me not to call a therapist, saying he's too young to be serious & he will talk to him tonight. I think my H had some pretty bad therapists while he was young & is scared of them. But I think this is more of an




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 8:25am

Hmmm. I also understand your husband's fear due to his own bad experiences with therapists. Because of my childhood experiences, I feared and hated the psychiatric and psychological professions. It took a lot for me to finally start going in college to get over issues from my childhood... I was filled with so much anger. I am so glad I went. But there really are good ones and there are bad ones.I came to really appreciate the good ones.

We were very fortunate that with our children we only had good ones. They focus on the here and now, not trying to dredge up what might have happened in the past. The focus on NOW and the future. It is much more wholesome and empowering.

I found the first therapist for my younger daughter from a free talk he gave and he then determined she might do better with an expressive arts therapist, so he teleconferenced with both the psychiatrist and the new therapist. For free.


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for firstglimpse
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 11:27am

I had DS see a therapist when he was 6 due to his fear of death. It consumed him. This was about a year into when I saw anxiety settle into his daily life. But on the initial consultant this therapist looks at the family history. Before speaking to my DS at all he saw dad was dx'd with ADHD and that was it - he had decided my son was ADHD. Now, I admit, he was bouncing off the seat, which was not normal for him. But he was about to start therapy, which he was not sure what it was, he knew we were going to be leaving him alone with this man AND there were exciting games piled high (my son LOVES games).

I just felt the therapist was spending all of his energy trying to dx DS with ADHD instead of address the things we brought him in for. He never could dx DS - and even if he did, I'm not sure how seriously I'd take until we get the fear of eating out of my son & he can get some proper nutrition into his body. I see amazing results with my DS just by giving him an omega-3 supplement daily.

------

Anyway.... DH spoke to DS last night. DS was pretty




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 11:31am

"




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
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Registered: 08-04-2001
Sun, 11-14-2010 - 5:39pm

"


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for firstglimpse
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 11-15-2010 - 5:00pm

May I ask how you found a doctor who was willing to travel a barely traveled road?

My H is tired of his meds. His med list only gets longer. His meds has caused high cholesterol, so now he's taking meds for that. Then the trembling, new meds for that. Depleted vitamin D, new meds for that. We spend 100s of $$ a month on meds alone (that is with copay only!). Our insurance doesn't even cover the multiple blood tests he has to make sure these meds are not causing more problems.

I had called his psych once and asked if he knew anything about supplementing & he got all weird. I asked if he could just tell me if omega-3 would make a difference in his current meds & he relaxed a little and said it was okay - but I could tell this is not a road he wanted to be included on.

Our family doctor likes to medicate symptoms rather than find the causes.




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 10:42am

With the older daughter, things were MUCH simpler because we had travelled the road (hey - I like your analogy) already with her little sister who has a much more complicated set of problems which had caused her "bipolar" and "schizophrenia" (i.e "schizoaffective disorder").

First of all, the psychiatrist did not help much on the road to discovery, although he had tried. He tried sending the younger one for neurological and endocrinological testing, but STIGMA against "mental" illnesses are alive and well in the medical community. The road travelled with the younger one could fill a book. However, here is a good place to start: http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2008/03/important-links-to-help-our-children.html

Take a good look at the books listed on that website - especially the one about fixing the broken brain by healing the body. I was stunned and excited when that book came out because it tralks about many things that helped the younger daughter.

Also, it is the parents of children leading the way in this revoluition, it seems.


www. It's Not Mental .com


Avatar for firstglimpse
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 11-16-2010 - 2:06pm

Thanks for the information. I've already researched Truehope / EMPowerplus a few years ago. They were being told by the Canadian government not to sell at the time. I know for a while they still were, but it seemed they did stop for a bit.

It's nice to hear somebody say they believe they've solved the case, with your older DD anyway. I wish I could meet somebody face to face who felt they have. Something to make it seem more real - more tangible.

It is so scary, knowing what can happen off meds, to actually attempt to do so. Then being associated with NAMI it feels like absolute neglect to not use meds (at least with our chapter). That is part of the reason I've stopped going to meetings there. I'm still volunteering, but I don't see them face-to-face.




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2001
Wed, 11-17-2010 - 8:23am

Interesting... I am also in NAMI - teacher and support group leader. My girls have given talks.

Please understand it was not scary for them to come off meds - they did not do that first! They did it only when they no longer needed them!

Our intention with the younger one was simply to help her feel better physically. We had no idea that would fix her brain.


www. It's Not Mental .com


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