2nd child after one with hypotonia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2012
2nd child after one with hypotonia
2
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 5:00am

Hi all,

My son is 18 months old and has hypotonia/cerebral palsy. This is due to a fault at the hospital during child birth- so it's not genetic!

i was wondering if there are any of you who have a child with special needs but went on to have another child afterward?

me and my partner have said all along we wanted 3 kids but we are aware it will be harder than if Brandon didn't have difficulties. He says it shouldn't stop us tho- which I agree with! 

Although my aunty said a few hurtful things like if we had another he/she wouldn't bother with Brandon because he is like this- she doesn't know how well he will do in the future though, none of us do! Don't get me wrong I am going to wait til Brandon is a bit older if we do have another, but still this upset me and wondered if anyone had had another one after having a disabled baby xx

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 2:40pm

I agree with your partner that you shouldn't let that stop you.  You are right, you have no idea what Brandon will be like.  I disagree with your aunt that a new child wouldn't bother with him, if anything, that child will learn empathy and compassion much better than another child would.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 9:27am

I'm the younger sib of an Aspie who had hypotonia/scoliosis.  Yes, my brother needed special attention.  No, this was not a problem for me.  As youngest, it was all I knew so I didn't know the difference.  Plus, growing up with a special needs sib aids the development of empathy and compassion.  I also think it inoculated me against a lot of the self esteem issues and shallow priorities of youngsters.  Do not let your older child's condition be determinative in your decision whether to have another.

Gwen

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