Had a bad day!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Had a bad day!
5
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 8:12pm
Today was AWFUL! I have a long list of doctors and therapy places to call Monday, if I make it there! its 7pm, and so far today he has thrown 13 temper tantrums... 5 of which lasted 20 minutes or longer - up to an hour! My main concern right now is trying to figure out how to end his fits. Most of the ones today I just strapped him in the carseat and drove until he calmed down. I can't do that every day? How you do defuse the fits at your house? I tried to hug him until he could calm down but he just hits and kicks, tried time out and he won't stay/ hits head on the wall, tried locking him in the room but he busted the door open. Help!? Any ideas at all. Nolan is going to be 3 in 2 weeks but is extremely strong and I can not physically control him one bit. Thanks for listening, any help is appreciated.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2007
Wed, 10-07-2009 - 1:16pm
My son is only 20 months so I can't help too much, I know he needs tons of high energy play and the pressure like PP mentioned. But I did want to say how funny it is that my son's name is Nolan and has SID too!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Sun, 10-04-2009 - 11:52pm

We actually have the opposite problem, we have to eliminate choices. He can not handle having a choice. If we offer a red or a green shirt he will cry ALL day about wanting the shirt he did not pick. He has started to make his own 'choices' up and its causing tons of problems. Like weather or not to wear a hat. He will find a hat, put it on then take if off screaming I don't want to wear it, then cry the instant he puts it down that he wants it back on. This can go on for an hour or so about 1 item and is very hard to distract him from. I would love to give him choices but he can not live with the decisions he makes.

We have started telling him the plans for the entire day. It seems to help a little. But if something changes then he flips out. I found out this past week that we can get an eval done by the schools at age 3, which is next week. So hopefully from there we can get some more help.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm sure I'll be around on here.




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Avatar for karindiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 10-01-2009 - 1:15am

Hi Stevie,

I remember when my dd was like that ... it does get better! One thing that helped for us was to model the time out ... in other words, when he has a tantrum, say "Mommy is frustrated right now, so I am going to go take some time to cool down" and then go into another room and try to chill out for a few minutes. If he sees the time-out is not a punishment -- but an opportunity for self-soothing and getting back in control -- then he might be more receptive to the idea.

With us it has been a long process, but my dd is finally in a place where she will go take some time for herself when she is starting to melt down. Usually she can get herself cooled down in a couple of minutes -- she is seven now, but she has been able to do this for a couple of years.

Avatar for ssjump
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-30-2009 - 11:06pm

Another thing to think about this age is POWER...kids want lots of it, and there are ways you can give it. Try and keep things calm and positive and really weigh your battles.

Give power through choices. (Red or green shirt, choose your socks, are these the shoes you like today...go to the bank first or would you like the grocery) You can also try to draw pictures or lists to front load things that might trigger. Give warnings of transitions...

I know lots of these things are transition oriented, but sometimes if kids know what is coming, they can handle it better.

Hope things improve!