how do you get thru all the guilt
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|Sat, 02-19-2005 - 9:17pm|
I just feel so guilty about Tj being sick. Maybe I did something wrong. I feel like I have disapointed everyone. I feel alienated from everyone because no one understands and I am really just sick of explaining everything over and over to my family. I fell like I am not paying enopugh attention to my girls or dh. My whole day is comsumed with Tj and all he needs, the girls and housework. I am not complaining I love them with all my heart. My kids are my soul, my reason for living. This putting such a strian on my marriage. We cannot sit and talk when the kids are around,He is such denial that he doesnt want to hear anything I say. I just cannot be everything to everybody. My girls are acting out. I say no dh give in so they dont cry. So that makes life interesting around here. I am soo sorry to dump this on all of you but I am drowning. Dh refuses to go back to therapy( that was one of the requirements for me to get out of the hospital when I was admitted for cutting myself but thats a whole nother story.) The only break I get is every Monday I see my therapist. My aunt and grandma are the only ones who will take all three kids. Most only want the girls. Grandma is 80 and my aunt is in her late 50's so he is a super handful with them. I usually bring his movie( Wizard of Oz) and he will sit and watch it from beginning to end. Now he is loving Woody and Buzz so maybe I will get to see a new movie! No one understand how I feel.Thanks so much for letting me ramble. Sorry to be such a downer. Maybe things will get a little better after he sees the neurologist in 2 weeks.