I am a bit worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
I am a bit worried
5
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:12am
about Christopher and preschool.He *always* comes out of the school crying very hard.The teacher who bringss him out says that he never crys at all until he sees me.I mean it is a very bad very sad cry he does.It makes me feel like something is going on.But I am not sure what it is.I can visit the school but only by app.I can veiw him from a 1 way window but I have to call ahead.I will call today to make the app.Why is he cring like that.He is always so happy to go to school but it breaks my heart to see him so upset after school.Any ideas Tammy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 8:27pm

Well, I will just give you my honest opinion. My oldest is 1/2 through his 1st year of preschool, so I am not an expert, so here goes. I don't think I would be as comfortable with a preschool that I always had to make an apptmt to visit, esp one that has a 1 way mirror viewing spot. You obviously would not be a disruption, given that environment. Have you asked them why you need an appmnt in advance? Something doesn't sound right, mostly in the way your child is acting. I am no pro, but I almost always believe in trusting a mother's instinct and if something doesn't feel or sound right, it might not be. So, that's not a ton of advice, other than don't dismiss your feelings of caution.

Mary

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:14pm
I have to say, I agree, I wouldn't be very happy that you need an appt. However, I think it is great you can observe through a one way glass. I think you would get a better idea of what is going on that way instead of being in the classroom. I would make an appt asap. When you are there you might want to ask why you need an appt. Let us know what you find out.
Michele
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 10:28pm

Tammy,

My little guy used to cry too. He still does on occasion, if he's had a rough day. For some reason, he gets worked up to see me, and then upon seeing me...he just releases all his built up frustrations. He's in kindergarten this year, and is doing better with this. His teachers (preschool and kindergarten) have both commented on the fact that he seems to get anxious to see me. I'm his comfort zone, so he feels relief when he sees me. If that makes any sense.

I used to stand right by the door where he comes out. Now I stand a bit farther, he walks over to me, and takes my hand, and we walk to our car. I try not to talk too much to him or ask about his day. He does better with this routine. Reliving the day makes it worse for him, so I wait til we're in the car or when we're home, before I start asking about his day at school.

He isn't always able to tell me what's wrong or if something happened in class. It's usually a combination of things. Alot of times his teacher or his aid don't even know what sets him off. He's pretty unpredictable. I hope this helps some. Just wanted to let you know that I've experienced the same thing here!!

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 11:54am

:) My answer is going to be a totally different take here then everyone else's.

First of all you should never dismiss cautious feelings or things that make you uncomfortable. That's just your "Mommy instinct" and you should go with it. However....

My son cried EVERY SINGLE time I picked him up from daycare and preschool. Not just cried, he usually had a screaming flipping out tantrum. I didn't understand it at the time, but now, looking back, I am pretty sure I know why. It wasn't me or the daycare/preschools. Lord knows I tried every single piece of advice out there to prevent it from happening. My son just didn't do well with transitions. He'd get so into his play, so worked up and overstimulated, that having to switch gears to going home just threw him for a loop. He STILL (at 9 years old) has trouble with transitions, and instead of tantruming will stall as much as possible. He needs some extra time to get his head wrapped around the fact that he needs to change gears from something stimulating to something calmer.

So, while it could be the preschool, it could just be that he's having trouble with the transition. Could the teachers get him a little more prepared by telling him earlier "5 minutes until Mom comes", or could you have a special thing for him to look forward to (when you are in the car you can have a sticker), etc? It may help make the transition easier. With my son, nothing worked. He just needed to out grow it a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 9:15pm

I would do a drop in visit anyway.