I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!
3
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 2:47pm

Gese, where do I start? Thursday I picked Gabriel up from preschool and the teacher had told me that he had another bad day at school and she documented what happened - b/c I had asked. So, I went into the classroom with the kids and she showed me what he had happened that day. I guess he bit a boys belly when they were playing side by side on the floor. I guess the kid didn't start it - it was all ds. He also poked a kid in the eye. I don't know what to do. This is the first time he has acted out is such a way. I feel like she thinks I have a monster. I know in my heart he bit the kid b/c he was playing to close to him, but it doens't make it right. I've seen him act aggresivley with his sister when she is playing close by. I'm so scared to send him back to school. What if he does this again?? I think about this 24-7 and have a hard time sleeping at night. I know I'm probably over reacting. My sister (who has a special ed and elementry ed. degree) tells me that I'm over reacting and it is their responsibility to find a way to handle it - it shouldn't be such a shock that a dd child acted aggressively. She has worked in a variety of special ed environments and had dealt with these types of problems on a daily basis. The problem is this is his teachers first yr. with her own spec. ed classroom. I've looked into wrap around, but he doesn't qualify b/c he isn't autistic. I would love for a professional to come into my home and spend the day with me and tell me what I need to do to discipline him. He is such a puzzle. His speech pathologist thinks that there is so much potential in him that we can't see b/c of his other issues (sensory and attention span). It is hard not having a diagnosis. I hope you girls don't think that he is a monster. I swear he is a lovable and happy child (most times), but he does act aggresively at times (impulsive). I've tried time outs, sending him to his bedroom, saying no, talking to him about his behavior but it doesn't seem to work. He'll say sorry after acting out. He has good days and bad days. I'm so worried. I know that it was probably just a fluke, but I'm scared to death that it may happen again (it only has happened once and Feb. will be his year anniversary at his special ed school). It is hard too b/c we are just starting his OT for Sid, so we havn't really had that much time to get much therapy for it. We are in the progress of getting another psych. eval. Help!! I would love some suggestions.

Kim

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 8:19am

Kim,


First of all, my adorable Madison has a flip side -- she has this fiery & unstoppable temper at times where she can literally 'attack' her brother or sister ~ the mixed bag of sensory overload, things out of control (in her mind) & things not going her way can be toxic at times.


I don't 'see' a monster when I read about your son -- what I do 'see' is a little boy whose needs are not being met in the school setting correctly ---- yet.


Surely there must be a precursor happening PRIOR to your son biting -- the teacher has not yet learned the signs of when Gab' is becoming agitated, or when there could be a potential of biting/hitting... it's very important right now that she pay VERY close attention to what is happening & what is being said beforehand. And what about the climate in the room? Lots of noise? Is it always freeplay? Is it in the beginning of the day, middle or end? Could he be hungry? ........ You see, have her not only document the actual occurrence, but what was going on..


the where, when, what, why, who theory?.......


And it's normal to react the way you are -- you just want it to STOP!


And please, don't feel that this is in ANY way attached to your job as Mom -- Gabriel will sort this out with your unconditional love & support, and the help that the professionals can lend..


remember


You're a GREAT Mom.

Colleen~ Mom of Morgan, 10 -- Madison, 6 & Maxwell, 34months!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 2:17pm

Colleen,

I can't express how much I appreciate your support. I even had dh read it and he thought it was really nice. I think they need a little encouragement every now and then too.

When I told the teacher to document - I wanted her to document what was going on when he was acting out. I'm going to call her tomorrow and talk with her again. Hopefully I'll get somewhere this time.

Thanks again. Your a wonderful source of support. I needed to hear some encouraging words and to know that we are not alone.

Kim

p.s. we are starting Gabriel with a new ot. we were on a waiting list ...and we finally got in!! Wed. is his eval. I'm excited this facility is suppossed to be great and his ot has ten yrs. experience. I will let you know how it goes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 2:21pm

Kim,


First of all (((HUGS)) I am so sorry you are dealing with this, our children acting out is NOT an easy thing to deal with, anywhere.