Need anxiety resources

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Need anxiety resources
2
Sat, 01-02-2010 - 1:22pm

My son is really struggling with anxiety. He is in a transition period in his life. He just turned 3, which means we are working on sleeping in the big boy bed by himself, using a big boy cup, self-feeding, and potty training. We have been working on these things for a long time, so we work on little bits here and there to move us along. The problem is that I do not have good ideas about how to manage the anxiety. We have coping mechanisms in place for sensory anxiety. This is different somehow. His anxiety levels are beginning to concern me. Can anyone point me to a good book or resource for anxiety? Anything in particular that has helped in your household?

Thanks,
Caren

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to:
Wed, 01-06-2010 - 11:08am

Oh boy, can I relate. You son's birthday wouldn't happen to be in September, would it? ;)

My DS is 6 now and on the sensory scale, and we've come a long way. At your stage, I think it's just a trail and error process. (HUGS) The biggest advice I can give you is to try and prevent prevent prevent. Think ahead. Would this/could this cause anxiety with DS (like getting him new clothes for instance)? If so, save it for a time when you can be calm and quiet, somewhere where other things aren't going to stimulate and only increase his nerves. Being two years old is hard enough, but having sensory things happening that he cant help make it even harder.

The other thing that's worked for us is giving him plenty of warning. Telling DS that he has to wear nice pants for an occasion, days beforehand....so that he has plenty of time to process before it actually happens. Or if he has to eat food that he isn't used to, we give hours if not days, of advanced warning. LOL food and clothes...those are our main issues. :)

For me, I try and give DS and much comfort as I can, because I know if he could stop feeling so anxious, he would.

Big (HUGS). I hope you'll stick around. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to:
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 3:00pm

Hi Caren-
How are things with you?

For Kaia, we needed to give her plenty of warnings to avoid anxiety. Each night before bed we used to go over her day and what she liked and didn't like that day. We also started asking her what her favorite part of the day was, and she started asking us as well which was nice. This has become a routine for us every night which is really nice way to end her day. If I know our next day is going to be a little different than her typical schedule then we will also talk about that as well before bed so she knew what to expect and had time to prepare her self for the change.

Now that she is older we don't really need to do that much anymore, but we still ask her what her favorite part of the day is each night and she asks us as well.

Also for Kaia, I tried to make 1 change in her life at a time. You are working on a lot of changes at once and that can be hard for a typical kid, and is really hard for kids with issues. When she was 3 I made a list of all the things we needed to work on (like getting rid of the paci, self dressing, sleeping in her bed etc.... and put a priority on everything and worked on 1 thing at a time. It is harder to potty train a child with SID than a typical kid, they just have so many other things they are working on and it can be frustrating to them.

I waited until Kaia was 3 1/2 to potty train and it didnt take long, and she just now at 5 1/2 is potty trained at night. For my younger daughter she was day trained in 2 days and night trained in 2 months and she was 2 1/2.

For Kaia she still needs to suck on a straw cup, I think it is a comfort and sensory thing for her, so we let her keep it, for my younger daughter she couldn't care less about the sucking. I think the sucking helps Kaia's anxiety, and I would rather her get relaxed by that now than smoke when she is older to get the same result.

I hope this helps
Alison

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