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Wow, your son sounds similar to mine! I just posted and up-date on him in the April check in thread - you can check it out there it you want. My ds is 7 and they just told me last week that he has ADHD and told me to think about medication but I really don't want to go that route. I feel similar to you, I am not sure if he really does have ADHD since there is really know way of being 100% sure. I have started using fish oil and have been looking in to diet changes. He still gets OT and speech from school as part of his IEP and I think the OT does help him with his sensory issues. His school has been pretty great about using weighted vest and other sensory aides. Good luck. If you have any other questions feel free to ask away, this board has a lot of great people and great ideas.
IEP stands for Individualized Education Plan. My son has had one since preschool. The "team": in our case parents, teacher, OT, Speech, Special Ed teacher, Guidance Counselor, and Principal usually meet once a year to review the child's goals and set new ones.