Stressed and not sure what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Stressed and not sure what to do
3
Tue, 06-08-2010 - 4:21pm

New here and new to SI


So today was our 2nd Occupational Therapy session I have so much work to do and so much to learn.


Feel like I have failed my son. I have been so strict with him and get so frustrated when he can't deal,


God I feel like such a bad mom. I just wish I knew what to do.


Carin

Mom to Lucas 4 Years old, and Isabella 2.5 years old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 8:46pm

((hugs)) Don't feel like a bad mom. Try not to beat yourself up. We have all been in that spot. My son is a hair twirler...and it's not his hair he twirls...it's mine. It seriously drives me bonkers...but it's calming for him. I used to make his stop playing with my hair and then when I went to hear Temple Grandin speak (she has autism) she hit on sensory issues...and how getting that sensory input helped her feel calm. Boy did I feel bad for telling Gabe to stop playing with my hair. Now he can play with it whenever he wants.

What kind of sensory issues is your son having?



Jessie mommy to Gabe(5 years ASD/CAS/SID)and baby Zane (1 year old)



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Jessie mommy to Gabe(5 years ASD/CAS/SID)and baby Zane (1 year old)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 11:31am

Thanks,


This has been a long hard road. My son has issues processing sensory stimulation. We have ruled out ADD, but he acts a lot like someone with ADD because he gets too much info processing and can't handle it. So he does things to give deep muscle stimulation such as climbing into boxes and closing the flaps, crawling into a mesh laundry bag, piling pillows on top of himself, etc. A big part of my frustration is with his eating. He won't eat anything that is not bread. His OT suggested that for the next few weeks we don't deny him any food just let him eat what he wants to eat when he wants to eat it. This goes against every instinct I have as a mom and I get so frustrated that I have to leave the room. I spend hours planing, shopping, and preparing balanced meals and all he wants is a piece of bread!!! ARG!! We are still very early in the process, only on our second OT session. I know things will get better and it is about training me as well as giving him tools but I am so frustrated with the process, feel like I did something or didn't do something for him and that is why he is like this. I just feel like such a failure!

Carin


Mom to Lucas

Carin

Mom to Lucas 4 Years old, and Isabella 2.5 years old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2010
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 12:02am
Carin, I know what you mean when you say you wonder if this is something you did. I was just saying to my husband the other day that maybe the reason DS has so much trouble is because I wasn't very active when I was pregnant with him. I was working in an office at the time and pretty much sat in a chair all day. Maybe he didn't get enough stimulation and that's why he can't process things normally. But he told me I was just looking for a way to blame myself, and he was probably right. It's so hard to see our children struggle with ANYTHING, but most likely, we could not have done anything to avoid this. What we can do is be there for them now. I think the fact that you care so much shows what kind of a mom you are! I think you're really taking steps in the RIGHT direction, and we need to hear that every once in a while. Just know that you're not alone in this. I'm so glad to have mothers like you to talk to that understand!
-Emmy