WHat is going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
WHat is going on?
6
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 11:23pm
Maya is definetly having some problmes but, I really don't know what is going on. SHe has started biting me and, she also bites herself and, she is pulling her hair out literally. I don't get mad at her for biting me or, when she hits me she is only 14 months I just take her hand and rub my face gently and tell her GENTLE WITH MOMMY. SHe has gotten so possesive of me that Nate (my three year old) can't even hug me in her presence because she will slap him and push him. I will tell you I have NEVER dealt with this before. I don't know if I should discuss it with her OT tomorrow or not. It is like she loves me so much she doesn't want anybody else to touch me but, she hits me bites me ect. I want to help her. Also, we went away this weekend with my in laws and, she did things for my mother in law that she NEVER does for me for instance, she let my MIL put her on a hanging chaNGING TABLE AND DIDN'T CRY OR ANYTHING(last time I did that she screamed so much and, I wound up with a lot of scratch marks). We also went to the rainforest cafe and, they gave maya a drink in this cool green cup but, she didn't like the colors so, she threw it and, we had to get the waitress to bring her a clear cup.'THen before we left my MIL offered her the green cup again and, she took it. I am ready to scream. AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. AM I a horrible mother? I feel like crap like I have done somthing to make her act this way with me. ANybody else know what the heck I am talking about? Wendy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 8:04am

It may be that she is just trying to exsert some control in an uncontrolable world.

               

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 9:22am
I think I know why she would think she is going to lose me DUH!! The minute you said it it clicked. THe baby is due next month and, everybody has been talking about it. I will tell you though, we have been making every effort to make the transition easy on her. We hired a nanny who will start on Friday. Maya realy won't be too much of her responsibility mostly the new baby and my three year old. I want to be able to give Maya just as much attention as she is getting now. Also as a side note, I wasn't able to breast feed my other two but, was thinking about working REALLY hard with a lactation consultant to nurse this baby. I however think that we have decided that it would be too hard on Maya for me to do this. If we had known that Maya had some issues we would have waited a while to have another baby. Please don't read this and think for one second that the new baby will be ignored but, I also don't want to make Mayas life too much harder I am sure that if we slowly integrate the new baby we will have much better results with Maya than if we would just throw this new little person into her life. AM I crazy or what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 11:43am
Could she be getting sick? Lacee was having a hard time,even hitting me with a fist and just freaking out on us even more then normal and it turns out she had double ear infections and I had no idea(i felt so bad).. Our OT was really concerned about the way Lacee was acting and wants us to keep a close eye on it.


Edited 11/10/2004 3:08 pm ET ET by mandy21

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 12:59pm
I thought the same thing Mandybut, she had to have a pre op physical yesterday because she has a bar hearing test tommorrow and, they have to put her to SLEEP. I have to go she is melting down as we speak bc she wants me to hold her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Wed, 11-10-2004 - 1:30pm

No you aren't crazy, and NO I do not for one minute think you are going to be ignoring the new baby.

               

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 1:25pm
Awww, I bet you're right. She probably understands that something is afoot, and I can bet dollars to donuts that she can sense your stress (not bad stress, but that heightened sense of expectancy that comes at the end of a pregnancy). Right before I had Hannah last year McKay was so stressed out. He was just coming unglued at everything. I thought we were going nuts. At EI he would just freak! This was like the last month or so before she was born. I was SO worried about how he'd react when she was here. He was so possessive. He would crawl under my shirt (yes, big belly and all!!) and rub my belly and curl up. I was pretty scared how it would all turn out.

But man, when I had Hannah, it was amazing. He was so at peace with her. (He still is. He tells me all the time, even over a year later, "I love baby.") He was fine with my nursing her, and I was so worried he'd freak out. Yeah, he was curious at first, but then it was no biggie. And right after she was born, he had so many breakthroughs. Lots of words. His EI specialist was so amazed at his change. "Baby magic" was what we called it.

So, I hope things will go well. I just wanted to share our baby success story with you.

Rachel