Delimma with new neighbor

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Delimma with new neighbor
5
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:57am
I'll try to make this short and sweet and get to the point. (Me? Short and sweet? NOT!!! LOL)
I have an upstairs neighbor that is really upsetting me. She is on public aid and exempt from the work program because she and her 3yo dd both have mental health issues. Neither of them have been approved for SSI or SSDI yet. I've been on aid before, I know how little her monthly grant is. Her spending and lifestyle make it obvious that she's getting income somwhere and it's probably not legal, just from the comments she's made. That's the first issue. The second (and more important issue)is that she is abusing her dd. We can hear her screaming and spanking her dd throughout the whole building and even outside at the next apartment building. She constantly leaves her dd alone with a mentally disabled woman who probably can't handle this little girls mental and behaviorial issues. She also leaves her alone with a relative that was apparently convicted of abuse. There's more to the story than that, but it's really a terrible situation. Obviously I should call CPS. I've only done it twice before, when the kids involved were in real danger. I hated doing it. I've also been investigated by CPS, I know how terrifying that is. So it's something I avoid at all costs. Oh, and I'm afraid of this woman. She's never done anything to me, but the other day we were all up there visiting (I won't let my dd's go up there alone to play, which they don't understand) and she was screaming and threatining her dd, with my 4yo in the same room. I was so afraid to go in there and get my dd, my neighbor was that out of control. She's admitted to calling CPS on other ppl, just to get revenge on them for making her mad about other things. She's had CPS involved before, she has 2 older dds' that she "let get put up for adoption" Huh? Who would do that, and not fight to keep them? She's even getting in home services to help her and her dd with thier mental health needs.
I'm not trying to be mean and judgemental, this little girl might really be in danger. I just don't want my name anywhere near a CPS report. I don't need this woman getting revenge on me, KWIM. If I make an anonymous call, it's considered a "concern call" and they're not always taken seriously.
I just don't know what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 10:58am

Oh my Steph I

Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker Lilypie 6th to 18th Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 3:14am
THings are crazy. DH is pretty sick. He has a staff and strep infection of his skin on his face and head and one eye. It looks pretty nasty. It's very, very painful. He's having to go to the hospital 2x a day for treatment. Apparently, not that long ago, he would have been admitted for a few days, but they will try this and see how it goes.
Steph

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 12:55am

Is the PCA not allowed to be alone per insurance or state rules? I know when I worked early intervention and was a home tutor I was there to teach skills and the parents had to stay. We didn't have the insurance and such to "babysit" so it was required by state law that the parent or a sitter stays.

If not for state law, perhaps for some reason the agency has required or requested that someone be there with the child. I know for instance with PCA's often there is personal hygeine stuff involved. My thought would be that there has to be someone else there to cover them from ever being acused of misconduct or any sort of abuse.

Otherwise I have really no idea. I am not used to PCA's, we don't have them here where I am.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 11:48pm

Now, that is a good idea and I will have plenty of time to do that. Apparently she doesn't want the PCA's alone with her dd (HUH?)and is trying to hire me to babysit while the PCA is there and stay for a few hrs until she gets home from work.
Kind of feel like I'm babysitting the babysitter, KWIM, and it may be a solution to my problem.

I've missed you on the boards, how have you been?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 9:54am
What about talking to her in-home helper? That person MUST, by law, report any abuse or suspected abuse.
Steph

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