new here 6yr old w/mild spina bifida

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Registered: 02-11-2006
new here 6yr old w/mild spina bifida
4
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 4:58pm

My 6yr old was born with a mild case of Spina Bifida called Lypomyomenengisil. Basically all that was affected was his potty training.We thank God every day that this would be our only problem. We were told that he would potty train late so we were totally prepared for that. By age 4 1/2 he was going #1 all on his own. We have seen the urologist and have had suggestions in how to help with the issue of #2. He now has to have a suppository every morning to empty his bowels. This has been working well.

A few months ago there was a miscommunication at school and we were asked to start sending him to school in pull ups. We did until a week later we were able to talk with the nurse and help her to understand that to him a pull up is a diaper and he does not go to the bathroom at all when he wears one. We were given permission to send him in underwear. Then he had a substitute teacher in his class for an entire week and he was too embarrased to ask her if he could go to the bathroom. She was unaware that there was a rule that no one had to ask they just go. Since then he has been having many pee accidents. His dad and I are getting very frustrated because we know that he can make it he just doesn't want to. He says that he is too busy doing something else and then doesn't want to tell anyone when he does have the accident. The teacher and the nurse at the school are frustrated because despite them sending him to the bathroom on a regular schedule he keeps having accidents near the end of the day. He comes home from school wet every day. We have tried a reward system at home and at school that worked well at first but then suddenly he doesn't care anymore. We have explained that if he doesn't start going when he needs to that the doctors will insist that he has to be cathederized daily.

I am afraid of this effecting my younger son that is fully potty trained. One day he told me that he had an accident when he hadn't just because his brother did have one. Also my younger son is almost 4yrs old and still wearing a pull up to bed because brother does. One the 4yr old just wants to be like brother, but Two we are afraid of what it would do to my 6yr old if his younger brother wears underwear and he still has to have a pull up. He is not at all ready for underwear at night and he knows it. Every morning he tells us "I wish I was normal like all the other kids at school." Yet every day he refuses to go to the bathroom when he needs to. We feel as though we are getting to the end of our rope and we don't like that we have to keep sitting him down to seriously talk about the same issue over and over.

Does anyone have any advice? We could really use some prayers for him and for us. Thanks

Reese

 ReeseWife to Heath, Mommy to Karston, Josiah, and Alyssa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 6:24pm
I worked with a first grader who had a physical problem, too. He not only couldn't tell when he needed to go to the bathroom, he couldn't tell when he had. His mother simply sent him a change of clothes that was kept in his back pack with a plastic bag to put his wet clothes in. Honestly, I can see why someone would see this as encouraging him not to use the bathroom. However, I think that his self-seteem is worth more than that in weighing one against the other. He will start getting peer pressure. He will get back on track. He, apparently, is not motivated to do it right now. I truly understand how difficult this can be to deal with, but I strongly believe that his mental well-being is more important than his relearning his potty training. He was obviously put through something that wasn't good during that week with the sub.

Photobucket

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Registered: 05-11-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 11:52pm

Just wanted to say hi!


June08siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2006
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 7:30pm

I have thought about the Good nights before, but they are a lttle more expensive and he doesn't really weigh enough to fit in them.

The last couple of nights the boys solved that problem on their own. We sent them to get their pj's on by themselves. In the mornings we have found that our 3yr (almost 4yr) old did not put on a pull-up (or underwear for that matter.) It did not seem to affect my 6yr old in the least. So one problem solved, if we could just get the day times under control.

He had a sub in gym today, so he did not ask to go to the bathroom and instead peed on himself and then told his teacher when the class got back from gym. Somehow we have to get him to feel that it is ok to ask to go, because he will always have substitutes in school. My husband is the most frustrated. He just keeps asking God "Why does our son have to go through this?" I can't wait to be completley recovered from a recent c-section so that I can get this family back into a regular routine.

Thanks for the advice.

Reese

 ReeseWife to Heath, Mommy to Karston, Josiah, and Alyssa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 10:59am

I do alot of lurking here, but I also have a 6 year old with some health problems. Actually for 2 years his feet and legs have been going numb and he kept falling. THey couldn't really find anything until an abdominal xray(has lots of probs there too)showed a spina bifida occulta defect. We're in the process of determining if this is significant or not. Anyway, luckly for us he doesn't have any bathroom troubles, but I do know that being 6 and starting "big kid" school with medical problems is hard. My son is on a very restricted diet and it's hard for him to see the other kids eat cupcakes etc. At 6, they know they're suppose to be big enough to deal with the problems, they just don't quite want to though. Hopefully this will end as quickly as it started for you. Sometimes miraculously overnight they mature and things get easier. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Gretchen