New here - 9yo deaf daughter with emotional issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2011
New here - 9yo deaf daughter with emotional issues
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 4:47pm

Hi, I'm the mom to a 9 year old hard of hearing daughter. She has bilateral sensorineural hearing loss, and her loss is about 55db (moderate to moderate-severe). She is oral almost 100%, although we use alot of cues, some sign at home, and accomodations at home and school (hearing aids, FM system).

We didn't figure out she was deaf until she was 6. I can't believe it took me that long to realize that there was something wrong with my baby! Since she started school, we knew there was something off about her because her teachers complained of behavior issues (ADHD-ish) and that she "just won't listen". Unfortunately, she has had bad experiences in school - she got the reputation early on as the kid who gets in trouble. Couple that with the fact that she was socially delayed and didn't pick up any of the peripheral cues of society around her, plus her dad and I got divorced, plus she is wearing hearing aids, plus the teacher doesn't think its her deafness but her laziness coming into play... I now have a little girl who is deaf AND damaged with low self-esteem, few friends, and anxiety.

I don't know where to turn or what to do - I have fought hard with the school system for 3 years to get her accomodations in the classroom and to help her teachers understand how to best teach my daughter, but honestly, I dont know if I'm doing enough, I don't know how to heal her and fix this and it breaks my heart...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-1999

Hi Joni and welcome! So sorry to hear about your daughters low self esteem. This is so common, and unfortunately she doesn't have understanding teachers. in order to get her feeling good about herself she needs to be involved in extracurricular activities. Gymnastics, swimming, cheering, soccer, basketball and so on. Her accolades in this domain will result in better self esteem, and will show at school as well. Personally, I think you've done a great job with the school's just the teachers who are not willing to accomodate, and rise to the challenge!
Best of luck with the upcoming year, and I hope her new teacher is better.


       basketball mom! 

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Hi Joni, welcome to the board! Your daughter has been through so much :( I'm sorry that the teachers aren't being more accommodating with regards to her needs, I really hope that she gets a more understanding and supportive teacher next year.

I like Maria's idea of getting her more involved with extracurricular activities. They will help her feel better about herself, she'll have the chance to make more friends and it will give her confidence. Just keep giving her lots of love, and reinforcing her strengths. You could also try Girl Scouts, marital arts, art or music classes, anything that gives her a feeling of accomplishment.

How is she doing with social cues?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2007

I agree with what the others have said. Any of those