"Those" parents...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
"Those" parents...
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 6:23pm

Both of my step-daughters are identified and in the special education program. One has ADHD with some learning disabilities and the other has an unidentified developmental/mental disorder. The oldest does okay with school; she's on the immature side but she's making progress. The youngest is also making progress but this is the first time in in three years that she's been in a regular education classroom. It was agreed upon at her initial IEP review that we would see how she does in the regular classroom with some services in the SPED room before completely rewriting her IEP.

She's prone to meltdowns in many shapes, sizes and varieties. In some cases, she can prevent them but most of the time, it stems from her inability to understand why she can't do something or why she has to do something. Her IQ is low enough that she is in the mental retardation range yet she can surprise you with what she can retain, remember and repeat. Mentally, she's about five or six.

I love both kids to death and wouldn't have them any other way. However, I'm tired of people singling my husband and I out as "those" parents, the ones with two difficult children. I'm tired of their pity or their disdain for them and for us. A school secretary practically shamed me today because the youngest had two meltdowns at school. I understand that they aren't used to having students with such needs in their building, but this is ridiculous. We can't stop her having a meltdown if it's part of her disability. It isn't like we don't hold the girls accountable for their behavior; in fact, we're probably more strict than the majority of parents whose children attend the school but we still show them plenty of love and affection.

Just where do people get off singling out families because of special needs children?

  "Aut dosce, aut disce, aut discede"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 09-09-2009 - 4:05pm

I'm so sorry to hear this! In this day and age you'd think people woud be more accepting and accomodating.

Maria :)