Discipline for Toddler

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Discipline for Toddler
8
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 7:32pm
We need help! Casey gets time outs and I do a lOt of redirecting, but it's not working. And now he laughs about time outs. What are some effective discipline methods for a 20 month old? Thanks!
amyzjuly.png picture by aziolkowski
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 9:14pm
Time outs never worked for Elijah until we visited my sister and she set him on a patch of floor and called it the rule square. I think it was the shock of someone he didn't know very well laying down the law. The rule square worked for a bit when we got home but didn't really stick. I guess my point there is that time out doesn't work on every kid (although maybe the super nanny could help us out there lol) And it also seemed that we'd find one thing that would work and then we'd have to adapt after it stopped working.

The best advice i've received is that you have to find his "currency" and use it. Kids are pretty smart, even as toddlers, so if you find what he values or dislikes, you can use that. For peanut, when she's being defiant or naughty and time out doesn't work, she'll lose a toy or fave pair of shoes or dress up outfit. When she was little, she'd lose it until her next sleep (like in the morning, she'd get it back after naptime, and afternoon naughtiness meant she'd get it back the next morning). Now she's old enough to understand losing it until the next day.

I'm sure other mommies will have some great ideas to help :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 6:33am
I want to see responses here too! Hello terrible 2's! We do spanking and it seems to help sometimes. Somehow I don't think Andrew would understand a time out.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 7:22am
How do you do time outs? At first, I would just make Julia sit for a specific period of time. That didn't work. So now she actually sits in the corner facing the wall. That way she has nothing interesting to look at. Now that she is older, she also gets sent to her room. You would think with all the toys and tv, that would be fun. But she likes to be with the family, so it actually does work. JJ gets time outs in his pack and play. I know some people put toddlers in their cribs for time outs, but I don't want him to have any negative experiences in his bed.

Also, I read once to make sure you aren't talking to the child during time out. Even if the child is being corrected, they are socializing. Maybe the lack of socialization with mommy would be a good punishment. I also try to not look kids in the eye when they are headed for a timeout.

I'm not against spanking, but that is reserved for severe misbehavior here. Like the one day she started running off in a parking lot that was near a highway. Basically, if her behavior could harm herself or others, it's a spanking.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 10:55am
The only thing that kind of works with Killian is when I make him sit in his highchair while I do dishes or something. He hates being in the chair if he's not got food on tray, but he usually calms down after a couple minutes. I'm going to have to figure something else out though, because he's going to get too big for the highchair really soon. He's so wild sometimes that I've put him in his crib for a time out, but he just screams the whole entire time! He's definitely a really really spirited child, and what's worse is that he's super stubborn, too. I know he'd never actually sit on his own for a time out!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Thu, 03-10-2011 - 1:30pm
For time outs, we have an area on each floor of the house - so on the main level, it is a corner by the stairs, and on the upstairs level it is just a spot on the wall where there is nothing to look at. He has to face the wall and not interact. He will stay there, but he just laughs about it. And then he's back to do doing the behavior. UGH!

We are not against spanking, but haven't started that because I didn't think he would understand. He does understand the time out and they used to bother him to where he would correct his behavior, but not so much anymore. I am so frustrated and I know it is just the normal 2 year old behavior, but he is so mischievious!
amyzjuly.png picture by aziolkowski
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 7:27am
That sounds so frustrating! I'm lucky that both of my children are tender hearted like their mommy. I just have to raise my voice and Julia starts to cry. She always asks me if I'm mad because she can't stand the thought of me being angry with her. That alone gets her to behave the majority of the time. So far, JJ appears to be the same way. The first time I raised my voice and gave him a firmly said "No, we don't bite," he broke out into tears.


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Avatar for zions_daughter
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2001
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 6:56pm
When we tell Ben no, he either gets mad or laughs, depending on his mood. I think it might be a toddler kind of thing along with personality because I seem to remember Tim doing the same thing for a while but now he either gets teary or mad (again depending on mood).

Kids are weird. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Sat, 03-12-2011 - 1:06am
We are in the same boat with Gabe. As of right now he won't stay in a specific spot for time out - I would have to hold him there and while I'm not against that until he 'gets it' I don't always have the time since I'm usually chasing after Elena as well. So time-out is in the PNP still where he can be contained. It's in our bedroom, so he doesn't get any interaction. Sometimes he doesn't like it, sometimes he laughs. I will threaten with a time-out if he's being naughty and sometimes that will stop him, but not always (more often than not it doesn't!).

He's not verbal yet so I'm finding discipline really hard. He understands more than he can express, I know that, but I'm not sure how much - since he can't tell me!

We occasionally spank. We reserve it for really serious - usually dangerous - offenses. And he occasionally gets a light 'spank' if he sticks his hand in his poopy diaper when I'm changing him - something he really gets a kick out of lately. Mostly I'm not sure what else to do and I can't put him in a time out right then can I? He seems to find it amusing though, so who knows how much help it is.

Ahhhh terrible 2s....

They say that whatever you choose to do, be consistent. Consistency is something I struggle with so I'm trying very hard to be consistent with Gabe right now. I know he needs it.


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