Torn on church issue--advice please :)

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Registered: 12-30-2007
Torn on church issue--advice please :)
8
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 8:23pm

We have struggled with finding a good church in this area for various reasons and now I'm at a point where I'm wondering if it is ok to attend a church that isn't a great fit for us but seems to be wonderful for the kids.


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Registered: 04-18-2001
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 12:52am
Because of my boys' ages, I didn't think about asking about the children's program when we moved here and I began attending the closest church. There are more kids attending these days and I think they do a good job for a small congregation, so I want to stick with this place; however, I totally understand wanting to find a church that suits both adults and kids, and I would try another one if I heard about a great kids' program.

In your situation, I would probably learn about the closest church, just in case it is a good fit for all and you didn't yet know. And it's always good if you can walk to church ;) plus attend with your relatives.

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Registered: 10-25-2007
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 6:44am

You could look into the church that is close to you and see what they offer.


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Registered: 04-01-2009
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 5:52pm
Along the lines of what Cindy was saying, my question would be, are there other ways to feel connected and fed that you haven't tried yet? Do they have small groups, Bible studies, etc. that might be good for you? It would be hard for me to pull the kids out of the church if you're seeing so much growth in them.

It's too early to tell right now, but I may be in a similar situation. We visited a church in AL that is the same denomination that I've always attended. There didn't seem to be small groups or other ministries for adults, and the associate pastor spoke (he was not very good) but we may end up going there just because there are other benefits. It felt comfortable and people were friendly. But I'm hoping to find that they do indeed have a small group program or something like that.
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Registered: 10-25-2007
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 6:33am
If not, maybe you could start one and others would start some as well. :)


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Registered: 12-30-2007
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 9:42am
Thanks for the input :) The small group that they have is before church and we were trying that but it makes for a really really long morning and dh said he would do either the study or service but not both. I understand his point--leaving the house at 830 and being gone until 1 really is a long time and it reminds him of the crazy long services in Mexico that he hated. So i want to respect his wishes (partly so i don't have a super grumpy hubby lol)

I think if we are going to do either/or, the service is the way to go since that's when the kids do most of the learning. We're actually not overly worried about getting plugged in since a move is still on the horizon and we have kind of given up on having the whole church family experience here. I know one plus of this church is that they let peanut go with the elementary age group and in a lot of churches, she'd still be in the nursery because of age.

Jennifer--i hope that the church you visited surprises you with more than you saw. I know that we are now out of our denomination, but we just make sure that the churches we visit have the same core beliefs. It's funny how some of the denominations are different in only tiny ways but there is a whole different group. Have you checked the websites of nearby churches just to see if there's anything like your old church?


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Registered: 04-01-2009
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 12:21pm
I completely understand the long day thing. We haven't gone to both Sunday School and worship service since Leslie was born because it's just too hard on her. She is very ready for lunch and a nap with just attending the one service as it is, so I know two-plus church hours would be really hard on her.

Lindy I didn't mean to make this about me! But it's a little overwhelming to try to find a new church in a new city. I wanted to start with what's familiar, and if it's not a good fit then we'll look elsewhere. I'm not opposed to going outside the denomination if, like you said, the core beliefs are the same.
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Registered: 04-18-2001
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 8:09pm
That's how I approach finding a new church - start with what you know and see how that goes. It's true that the differences between denominations are often not very noticeable. Makes you wonder why there are so many!

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Registered: 12-30-2007
Fri, 04-27-2012 - 10:30am
I know you weren't trying to make it about you. I totally feel you on the frustration of finding a new church home though. And the funny thing is that I've lived in Roanoke now for 8.5 years and still don't have a real church home, and if we move later this year, we'll be hunting from a whole new batch. Fun times. Although I really hope the churches out there are different than what we've found here *fingers crossed*

I pray that you guys find a great fit quickly!