Decision prayers & prayers for my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Decision prayers & prayers for my heart
26
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 2:18pm
Friends, Erik and I need your prayers. He got a call today to inform him that TVA will be sending an offer letter via e-mail for a job he interviewed for in Alabama. He has until Monday to decide. The job will be $10k-20k more than he made in his last position, with a $10k signing bonus. This all sounds great, right? Well, I'm just sick about the prospect of moving and leaving my family and my home. Sick isn't even a strong enough word. I can't stop crying (on Leslie's birthday, which completely sucks). This isn't just a case of me not wanting to move because moving is a pain. It literally makes me heave to think of leaving everything and everybody I know and love. The job is at a nuclear power plant out in the middle of nowhere. The nearest city is 20 miles away, and it's 5 hours from where we are now and where I've been for 39 years. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave my family. I don't want to take Leslie away from them. My parents will be heart-broken if we move. Even if I was ok with leaving the family, selling the house and moving is a huge ordeal. Houses aren't selling right now anyway. My guess is we'd be stuck with paying a mortgage on a house that we don't reside in, in addition to the living expenses we'd have down there.

So Erik says we should think and pray. He says that if they MUST know by Monday, he's likely to just tell them no because we probably need more time to decide. When he interviewed they told us realistically it would be months before we heard anything and that he'd have to do several more interviews. This is VERY sudden. On the other hand, he's not getting any bites for jobs HERE. How long would we have to wait for another job offer to come along?

The only bad thing about the job he's being offered is the location.
Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 4:36pm
Wow! I am sorry that this is so sudden and that they would like a decision so quickly. I am so excited though that he got an offer! I know that moving would be hard on so many levels and I agree that you guys should pray about the decision. I would only caution that you not let the scariness/sadness of a move step in the way of a great opportunity. A power plant in the middle of nowhere definitely sounds rough, but trying to live on barely any income and with no benefits is also scary. (btw, i'm assuming a job with a signing bonus comes with benefits, but i might be wrong on that front)

I know that when Jeremy had a potential job in New Mexico, it about killed me. I hate sand and I have never lived somewhere that wasn't within driving distance of my family (even though it's a 12-15 hour drive as it is now) But the stress of living here with no jobs was wearing us down and I was willing to go so we could survive. So if the only drawback is the location, I would urge you to be open to God's leading even if it's an answer that is way outside of your comfort zone. If the move is God's will, He will help out on the details, and if staying put is His will, He'll provide a job there.


Avatar for zions_daughter
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2001
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 6:55pm

What Lindy said. She's a really smart gal and you should listen to her! ;) :)

I moved across this country once for Hubby to go to university. I left my family and my hometown, moved somewhere no one in my family had yet been (and still haven't visited). And I wouldn't take that back for anything! I met great friends, went to a couple of awesome churches, learned some independence and always had my iVillage friends no matter where I was.

Go for it!! Five hours away seems like a lot now, but I've lived 8 hours away for one school year and also four timezones away for 5 1/2 years. You can do this! Take this God-given opportunity and find your mission field in the middle of nowhere, sister!

Okay, calming down now. It would just be so exciting for me if I were in your position and there was finally a job offer to answer the financial problems! I'd be eager to see what God had in store!

(((Hugs)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 7:47pm
Lindy, that's the thing. I'm not miserable enough yet to want this. We get the unemployment, my parents are still helping us with the mortgage, Leslie's got free health care, and Erik's got VA health care which is virtually free. I never get sick and I don't take any regular prescriptions. Now, I wouldn't want to go for a long time in this situation, but we'd be ok for a couple of months more if not longer. I want to wait it out and see if anything else comes along here since we're doing ok for now.

And yes, there are great benefits involved. Like I said, the only bad thing is the location. This job would be perfect if it were right here.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 7:48pm
Becca, I wish I shared your enthusiasm, but I don't.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:41pm
I know that you want to wait and see if you get something where you are, but for some reason that only God knows it is sounding like he wants you there. With the support from your family now they will be sad but they WILL visit and you WILL be able to visit them! Trust me I have moved MANY times and left my whole family when I got married. I know it seems so horrible right now, I pray that God gives you a clear answer to your prayers this weekend and that you come to a peace about it.


Powered by CGISpy.com Thank you Lindy, Tara, Angie, Aimee and Megan for my awesom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 9:57pm
What do you do when you need to go somewhere, like to the doctor, without a kid, and there's no one to keep said kid? It just seems so lonely and like I'd be without any help and support. And I'm seriously introverted.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 10:35pm
I believe that this is something that God wants you to learn that you are stronger than you think. My kids go with me if I don't have anyone to watch them. I am out in the country and everyone around me has been here forever. Yes dh's family is all around but that isn't the same as friends. I pray that God wants you there to find an awesome church that needs you, dh and Leslie and that you and Leslie especially find some new wonderful friends that you would have otherwise never known.
oh and don't forget we are here for you as well. Seriously my best friends I met online! my BEST friend is 25 years my elder! but we get along so well and once she convinces her dh they will move here!
Moving is hard especially when you know noone. could you live in town and dh commute the 20 minutes or so? Would that help?
Is there a way that dh can email the people and ask for a few more days and maybe take you down there to look around?


Powered by CGISpy.com Thank you Lindy, Tara, Angie, Aimee and Megan for my awesom

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 10:36pm
Not to freak out out or anything buuuut, my BIL has been out of a job for 2 and a half years and a lot of it has to do with the fact that he and my SIL don't want to leave the area they are in. :-( They never thought it would be that long and in the beginning they both said they'd never look out of the area (family to babysit, church etc.) 2 and 1/2 years later, they are finally hinting at the fact that they'd move. I agree that this could be a big opportunity for you guys, even though it might be scary. I have family close by but I always take Claire with me everywhere when I'm not working. The nurses at both my gynecologist and asthma doctor know her well. hahaha. But another idea to consider is (and it's not idea but might be something to think about) when my dad was out of work he applied EVERYWHERE. He applied in San Diego (3 hrs away) Vegas (4 and a half) and a few others. He did have a job in Santa Barbara for a year (2 hours) He found a cheap place to rent during the week and work and came home every weekend. Does it suck? Yes. But he had a job and it is harder to find employment the longer you are out of work. In the meantime, he continued looking for a job closer. He quit as soon as he did. If you had to do that, you and Leslie might be able to go spend some weeks out there, get to know the area, get to visit churches, MOPS groups, whatever, and maybe ease your way into life there. We are very good friends with a family that has moved 6 times in the last two years (hubby's job moves him a lot, although, he thinks he's in CA for a while now and they might try and buy something, but I digress). We met them at church. They, since, have been going to another church but we have babysat their little girl twice, overnight even, since we met them. The idea is, if you guys have to move, you pray like crazy that God brings you to a good church with good people who can help you and be your "family" kwim? I dunno, just trying to give you some encouragement to maybe see how it could work out for you guys. I know it's super, duper hard. I'd hate it (we'd have to rent out our house, currently, if DH ever got another job out of state and then rent a house in the new state until we could sell our house . . . we are $20K-$40K under. . . yikes! We've talked about this possibility since DH finishes his MA in April which opens him up to some possibilities job-wise) Anywho, I'll keep you in my prayers, for sure!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 11:25pm
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm really surprised you all are not placing more value on family and being close to family. I hear what you're saying about it being a tough job market, etc., but time with family is priceless.

Also, though the job market's tough, Erik has recruiters calling him every day about jobs. Granted, they often are contract jobs with no benefits, or they're contract to hire or something like that, but my point is that there are people interested in him. He's got a really good resume and some great experience in the nuclear industry. Why not wait it out a little bit? Why jump on this just because the job is perfect? There's more to life than a perfect job. I would be willing to trade a perfect job away from family for a not-so-perfect job near family.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 11:35pm
Erik worked out of town about five years ago, pre-Leslie, and I was working here at the time. He actually worked in the same town that his parents live in, so he lived with them Mon-Thurs, and usually made the three hour drive home on the weekend. Sometimes I went there. It was so. hard. on our marriage. But I do agree that since I'm a SAHM now, that does give me some freedom to move "leisurely" LOL. I think it's a bad idea for our marriage/family for him to live there by himself for very long, but I am glad that Leslie and I could kind of take our time getting settled if need be. We would have to do so much work on our current house in order to put it on the market and expect to turn a decent profit. So on the one hand, that's kind of cool b/c I could stay here and oversee that, but at the same time that eats up the profit from a higher salary.

Interesting to know that you take Claire to your appts. I can't imagine Leslie behaving in a dr. office while I'm the patient. She's smart and verbal and all that, but she's not mature in a lot of ways. She'd probably open the door and I'd have to chase her down the hall.
Photobucket

Pages