being a good wife and mom....
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|Sun, 08-31-2003 - 9:34am|
I'm a 37 y/o mom of 4 (ages 13, 10, 2 and 1). I have been experiencing difficulty being a good mom and wife. It seems like at least one of my children are always in some crisis, usually more than one at the same time. My husband is very strict in his standards for things, in his likes and dislikes. He doesn't want me to wear certain clothes (like sweatpants) and I have to keep my hair long for him when I don't want to. He even has told me that when I make a sandwich for him, there has to be a correct amount of mayo on it (not too much nor too little) and the meat and cheese has to extend to the ends of the bread. He's picky about how he likes things to say the least. I feel like I'm constantly being criticized by the kids and my husband. I can't even sleep correctly. I have arthritis and a fair amount of pain in my joints. I like to sleep with a pillow between my legs to help my hips, and one in front of my chest to keep my shoulders in a comfortable position. My husband complains about this EVERY night. He says I put these things "between us" so he can't touch me, which isn't true from my viewpoint.
My children are good kids, never really in big trouble. My husband is a good Catholic man who is very devout. He's generous and loving as well.
I feel like the problem is me. Am I being too sensitive? How can I stop feeling like I do? Why can't I just take my family they way they are without feeling bad? I pray and pray to Mary and Jesus to help me be submissive, loving and patient in the way I am supposed to be. But I feel resentful and angry. I do feel like I've given up everything for my family willingly. I have a Master's Degree and have chosen freely to stay home with my kids. I want to be here to take care of them all. But it doesn't seem like I do a good enough job and it upsets me.
any comments are welcome.