Can someone define Godparents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Can someone define Godparents?
2
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 12:59pm
...Our 3rd child is being baptised in June. I am second guessing the thoughts of the Godparents we have chosen thou they have known about the pick for them before our DS was even born so I really don't want to hurt their feelings or make our relationships sour. The Godparents to my two girls are couples in the family. Very dear couples who are more committed to their faith than this 3rd couple we have chosen for our 3rd baby. Part of the reason we have chosen them as Godparents is because we are Godparents to one of their children and I want to return the respect. Over the last few months, I am realizing more and more and more info about this couple than I have ever believed (we have been friends for 10+ years). They are very self righteous people who justify everything in their lives: It's OUR way or the highway kind of belief about them with everything. That is a fine personality but it doesn't work here and our beliefs and faiths and thoughts and styles are challenged because of it......

Anywya, My question is what duties (I don't know if that is the right word or not) if any a Godparent has to my child and how a pick should be made???!!!

Thanks for Reading

Jeanne

 


 


Avatar for ruthv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 9:20am
Hi Jeanne,

Duties of the godparents are to support the parents in raising the child in the faith and to be role models of the faith for the child throughout his or her life. I'd think twice about these people you have in mind if you think that their relationship with your entire family is not the greatest.....not sharing your beliefs, values. There are too many stories around with people who wish they could choose new godparents for their child because the original ones "didn't work out". And godparents cannot be replaced after the Baptism.

Avatar for workinmom91
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 6:51pm
If you are having doubts about them, don't choose them. If you had previously ask them, let them know that you have changed your mind due to "X" reasons. If you want to be honest with them, by all means do so. If they are truly your friends, they will understand and move on. While I don't advocate telling a "white lie" if this is the only way to soften the "blow", than do it.

My best friend of many, many years asked me to be the godparent of her newborn daughter. However,when she asked me, I was not married but engaged to my DH at this time. Since her DH didn't know my DH very well, he was uncomfortable about asking us to baptize their daughter since we were not married. (We would not be married for another 9 months and he didn't want to delay the baptism.) He felt bad about asking me but not my DH. When my friend explained the situation to me, I was very glad for consideration for my feelings and thanked her for being honest. I explained the situation to my fiance and told him that they had changed their mind. He understood. I still jokingly refer to her daughter as "my" goddaughter.