Confirmaton - reception or not

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Confirmaton - reception or not
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 4:02pm

I am new to the boards but have been a Catholic since I was 7. Married a Catholic and we are raising our children to be Catholic.

My son is going to be making his Confirmation on a Wed at 7 pm. I know I want to invite both my family and my DH's family to the ceremony. That will be about 40 people. My question is about a reception after wards. I don't know if I should have one or not. We did the reception up big for the 1st communion. However; this year my DH is down to 4 days at work and so money is tight. I was thinking about just inviting the grandparents and sponsor to a dinner but the ceremony is at 7pm and so dinner won't be until about 8:30 pm. or even 9 pm. Do I want to be eating that late on a Weekday? So, I was thinking about having the dinner on a different day. But what about the rest of my family? Is it rude to invite them to the ceremony and not invite them to a reception after wards? I know my family and they will probably give gifts of money to my son. I am thinking about putting 'no gifts' on the invite. I don't want them to come to the ceremony because I want gifts. I want them to just be there for my son. I'm not sure how to handle this?
I was also toying in the idea of a light reception for the whole family. Finger foods and such. But when would I have that? after the ceremony? That's 9 pm. On a different day? Would anyone want to come to a light reception on a different day?
Does anyone have any idea or thoughts about this?


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 10:22pm

Our Confirmation Mass begins at 6:30 and takes about 3 hrs (about 100 students).... so there will be no reception for us afterwards. we'll be heading home since there's school and work the next day. I know our church is too crowded to invite extra folks plus none of our out of town family would come anyway.....

If you want to have a reception on Sat, you certainly could. If money is tight, have it at 2pm so that it's not meal time... serve cake and punch. I don't think you should write "no gifts" but rather word it in such a way that you want them to join you for a celebration of the Sacrament... kwim?


Wife to Scott

Mom to: Madeleine, James, Abigail, Theresa & John


Wife to Scott

Mom to: Madeleine, James,

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 10:10am

First question in my mind was, how large is your church, and are you really allowed to invite 40 people to the confirmation *ceremony*? We were limited to 6 people per family. If there are more than a dozen kids being confirmed, you should check with your parish about guest limits.

Most people have a reception or dinner on another day. The ceremony is long, and everyone is pretty ready to go home after that, especially on a weeknight.

We had a dinner for grandparents and the sponsor & her fiance on the Sunday after my oldest DD's confirmation, and a small afternoon party at our house for my second DD's confirmation. We did what seemed right for each girl.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 9:31am
We didn't have a reception.


Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 9:46am
I think a reception or some kind of gathering afterwards is a fantastic idea, it helps a child recognize the day as something special.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 10:32pm
First of all, I would find out if you are allowed to invite 40 people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 9:12am

There are about 40 kids being confirmed. We have about 50 pews that can fit about 10 to 15 people. We also have some side pews that fit about 6-8 people. We also set up chairs in the back and even in the gathering area outside the doors (all glass doors and walls so you can see the alter still) They do this at Christmas and Easter. So, I think we can seat everyone. Of course, I won't assume anything and will check to see how many we are allowed to invite.
I have a very close religious family as does my DH. If the church would allow us to invite them all they would be thrilled to come.
I'm still up in the air about what to do about the reception. That's for all the wonderful ideas.

God Bless!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2010
Tue, 01-26-2010 - 12:14pm

Since Confirmations always seem to be in the evening we just invite our family and guests back to the house for a little dessert reception.