Does such a book exist??

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Registered: 10-22-2004
Does such a book exist??
13
Wed, 07-29-2009 - 4:49pm

I have a DD who is almost 5 who has been very curious lately about where babies come from. My husband and I had agreed prior to having children that we would do our best to be open and honest with them in regards to sex. Thus far, our answers to her questions have been a little bit vague. Ex, "How does a baby get in your tummy?" "Well, when God sees a man and a woman who love each other very much and have promised to spend forever together, he takes that special love and forms it into a baby and puts it in the mommy's tummy. YOU are that very special love."

The thing is, as I'd like to start talking a LITTLE more about the "hows" I know that she will get involved in the "whys" as well...

Is there a book out there, somewhere, that any of you know of, that discusses sex but also incorporates a faith perspective? Or am I going to have to kind of meld our beliefs with whatever basic book or info we get for her? (A lot of my friends have suggested "Where Did I Come From" by Peter Mayle. But I'm not a big fan, as it describes sex more in-depth than she needs to know... talks about how things "tickle" etc.)

I guess I just figured it might be easier if such a book existed so that I'm explaining it right--if that makes sense.




Edited 7/29/2009 4:51 pm ET by mom2juliarose

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Registered: 06-11-2007
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 2:17am

I don't know if such a book exists, so I can't answer that question.
However, I can share what we've done. I started out with the kids at early ages with basics of anatomy. I called the parts what the doctors call them which astonished quite a few old ladies when my preschool aged boys talked about the events involving their parts - of course they were loud and in public, where else would kids mention such things right?
And what other menace of motherhood is there, but "Let's see what Mom's doing in the bathroom!" The kids have all walked in during the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, and I took it as the opportunity to teach them that mommy bodies get ready each month to carry a baby if the Mommy & Daddy make a baby together. If there's no baby made, then the part of Mommy that carries the baby cleans itself out to start fresh next month. If they don't get it, I equate it to organizing their closet then pulling everything out into the middle of the floor and starting over again. Then there have been times when the kids have walked in on us. That's never easy to handle. The boys figured it out early enough, but our daughter didn't quite get it. Then one day the door was closed and she started to walk in our room. The older boys nabbed her and one of them told her what was up in there...which we had hoped could have been handled more delicately but it is what it is.
Now that I'm pregnant again, she has asked how a baby would get into my belly, saying "How did a baby get in there if you and Daddy didn't have sex?" Apparently she asked dh first lol. I told her, well honey, Mommy and Daddy do make babies that way. She was a little grossed out at the thought of it I guess, but she's moved on from it. I did explain to her that the Mommy carries the eggs that grow into babies, and the Daddy has the sperm that makes the eggs become babies when they get together inside the Mommy.
You may be able to take the context of "Where did I come from" and adapt it to your own household, leaving out the 'tickling' information, and adding Catholic teaching. It was difficult for me to do that since dh and I got married 3 weeks after our second child was born. However, since we were very young when we had the boys, we took that as a tool to teach them about the need to abstain from sex till they're married and capable of handling adult behavior. My ds16 is the poster child for abstinence at this point, and tells his friends that his mom got pregnant with him the very first time. His 14 year old brother doesn't have any interest at this point and looks at his brother as the poster child for birth control - as in you have kids early, you end up with a child like his brother. Flawed logic but it works for now.

In the meantime, I may have completely confused you more, and if so I apologize. My approach to things is different than many other people and their approach. I grew up with a mother that couldn't say the words for genitals without gagging, and used other phrases instead. My dad still doesn't/can't call a body part for what it is, and uses colorful analogies instead. I didn't learn the clinical terms for them till I was a teenager. I vowed that my kids would know facts and they wouldn't have the same connotations associated with private parts that I grew up learning. Plus, having been molested, I wanted to make sure that if anything like that happened to my kids there was no question as to what they were describing. I didn't want to allow any leeway of interpretation just because my kids couldn't use clinical terms to name body parts.

I'd love to know if a book like the one you need exists. I'd like to think one does. It would be helpful when this baby becomes an inquisitive child. if not, then maybe you might be the one called to write such a book for the rest of us. lol.

~Trish

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
--old Irish blessing

Irish siggy courtesy beaches59

~Trish

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 10:23pm

Yes indeed there is! "Where Do Babies Come From?" is from the Learning About Sex series, and I thought it was perfect for my 5-6yos.

"Before I was Born" in the God's Design for Sex series is a little more explicit. It's supposed to be for 5-8yos, but I thought it was more appropriate for the older end of that range. I bought the book that follows it, too, but after that I started to find the series too conservative for us.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 8:52am
imo, be careful not to give them more information then they need/want....

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James,

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 6:05pm

I bought the books when I was pregnant with DS - my daughters were 7 & 5 at the time. I read the "younger" of the two to DS when he was 5, and we read the second when he was 7. However, I'll bet if you asked him today (now that he's 9yo) where babies come from, he'd have forgotten it entirely! Probably time to revisit it with him.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 5:01pm

Thank you for the names of those books.


While my daughters weren't inquisitive about that my DS (6 1/2) is.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
Tue, 08-04-2009 - 12:40pm
Another good book for girls, which describes different things about their body and growing up
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 08-04-2009 - 3:24pm

I have to say that telling kids where babies come from when they're young doesn't necessarily make it any easier to have real conversations about what you expect from them when they're teenagers.

I agree about "The Care and Keeping of You" for girls, which Kim posted. I gave it to both my girls.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Wed, 08-05-2009 - 8:03am

We have the AG,Care and Keeping of You book too.


And all I was really trying to say before was

 


 


Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 08-05-2009 - 2:17pm

I was full of curiosity when I was a kid, and my mom wouldn't tell me anything! I guess she figured I'd learn by osmosis or something. By the time I came along (I was kid #5), she must have been tired of explaining, LOL. Anyway, I tried to do a better job with my girls about the biological facts.

I'm not sure I've done as good a job on the moral dimension of things, e.g. I don't know what their answers would be if I asked them what my opinion is about premarital sex or living with someone before marriage. That's what I meant about having given them the biological info early on but it hasn't made having moral conversations with them easier.

On the bright side - they don't seem the slightest bit embarrassed by the biological stuff, whereas I was completely mortified!

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 6:41pm

<<<>>


In many ways, this is more important for our children to know... it's our responsibility as Catholic parents to raise our children with morals/values that are in line with Church teachings.....it's not up to the Catholic school or the CCD program but us......


I think many times watching tv with teens is a great tool for discussions about what is and isn't proper..... a great show (no longer on the air) is drats.. can't remember the name.... a preacher with lots of kids.... boy my middle aged brain is going

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James, Abigail, Theresa & John

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James,

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