Frusterated

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2004
Frusterated
3
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 4:56pm
Hi! I have a dilema. My younger brother who is 18 got his girlfriend pregnant. She is catholic and her family is wanting them to get married in the catholic church. We are not religious and being raised by a very busy single mom who really doesn't have time to deal with this. My best friend keeps telling me once you get married in a catholic church that is it for you.

My concern is that my brother and his girlfriend could care less about church and don't even really know what is going on. It is coming from the girlfriend's mom that they should marry in the church. My brother is just going along with it because he feels he has caused enough trouble and just wants to please everyone. He doesn't have a clue though. My best friend is catholic and keeps telling how serious this whole thing is.

I was thinking of going to the parish priest and telling him that my brother doesn't care and that he shouldn't marry them in the church. I know he doesn't care because he has said so. He also has admitted he doesn't know half of what is going on in church and fantasizes half the time he is there. Will they just get down on him harder though if I do this? He works two jobs already and doesn't have time to go there more than he already does.

Is there a way to confront the mother on this? Isn't there something in the bible that says she will get into trouble for pushing this on people? WWYD?

Avatar for ruthv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: curlyqgirl
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 6:17pm
Not too much time for a lengthy post - but marriage is NEVER (whether in a church or otherwise) the solution for a couple just because they have had a baby. Ordinarily a couple has to go through a fairly lengthy and involved preparation in the Catholic Church before they are allowed to be married. The couple generally has to contact a priest about marriage at least a year before they intend to marry. Chances are the priest or any of the other lay married couples they are involved with during the preparation, will have a good idea as to their readiness/reasons for marriage. Don't worry that they can just walk in the door and "sign up" for a wedding ceremony in a few weeks. It doesn't work that way.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
In reply to: curlyqgirl
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 7:52pm

Prayers and Counseling.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: curlyqgirl
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 7:55pm
Your brother should not consider marriage at this time. He should wait until at lease six months after the baby is born and then enter into the pre-marriage preparation process. No pastor in his right mind would marry them under this situation, even greater is that no Bishop should grant his permission for the mixed marriage to take place.