A Funeral Question

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
A Funeral Question
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 3:20pm
...A friend and former neighbor of mine's Mother just passed away. I attended the Funeral Mass, sent flowers to the visitation the Night before and did not attend the Burial Service after the Funeral. The Mass was beautiful - the Songs, including my favorite "On Eagles Wings" was sung. I didn't have a chance to acknowledge my friend so I plan to call her later BUT Now, I kind of feel guilty about not attending the Burial Service...

Is Custom attending the Mass and Burial or does the Mass celebrate much in itself. I did not know this friend's Mother at all nor have I ever met her. Just Curious whether or not I attended the Full Catholic Passing Ceremony by missing out on the Burial or Not??!!

Thank You




Avatar for jasbri2
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:33pm

You did fine. I have attended many calling hours and funerals, but chose not to go to the burial. Many people did the same with my Mom's funeral. It is not expected, really

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 11:09am
I don't know what the official rule is, if any, but I've always believed the burial itself is for family and very close friends.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 7:54pm
Most of the funerals I have been to have been for family and in those cases it was only family and very, very intimate friends of the deceased who attended the burial. In fact of all the non-family funerals I've been to I've only attended one burial and that was for my then boyfriend's very close friend, so I think you were fine in not going.


"Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have. The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases." - Thomas Jeff

Avatar for ruthv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-26-2003 - 9:44am
Jeanne, I don't know if funeral customs vary from place to place, but here (MA) a funeral (whether a church or held in the funeral home) is open to anyone and the option of going to the cemetery after the funeral is for anyone who would like to go. There is no obligation to go to the cemetery. At our parish families also have the option to have a luncheon in the church hall after going to the cemetery and anyone is invited to that as well.