I'm a Godmother! -Now what?

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Registered: 09-02-2008
I'm a Godmother! -Now what?
18
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 10:12am

My family drove out to the DC/VA area on Friday morning (11 hours in a car is a recipe for disaster, no matter how much one may love her family).



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2005
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 12:52pm

Congratulations Jen! You should probably get a medal for surviving the car ride LOL.


Our most "recent" godson (who is now

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 1:41pm

Our goddaughter is dh's niece... I send a Christmas present but that's about it....


I think it's because of hte way we were chosen... we were literally an afterthought...


dh's brother and sil wanted Scott's older brother (never goes to church) and stepsister (also doens't go to church) to be godparents.... but their parish required them to provide a letter saying they were active members of a Catholic church.. which of course neither could provide....


so we were asked.... and we were told (by bil and sil) why we were being asked... so it's hard to feel as if we were really wanted when we were just asked at the last minute since the folks they wanted were disqualified.....and we were also unable to go to the baptism (can't remember why now, may have been because I was very pregnant)

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James, Abigail, Theresa & John

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James,

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 3:04pm

How nice, and how wonderful that you ask what it takes to be a good godparent.

Ruth (churchbear) and her husband are wonderful godparents to my DS. They remember him every Easter and Christmas, and he has a picture of them and their sons in his room. They came to his first communion last year, and we'll invite them for his confirmation too.

We selected friends to be my 16yo DD's godparents, but the wife is Episcopal and doesn't understand the sacraments, so they haven't been a presence for my DD in a religious sense. My 14yo DD's godparents are my sister and BIL, so she sees them a few times a year anyway - nothing special for being godparents.

I am godmother to that same sister's oldest son, and I'm afraid I wasn't much of a godmother - I was too young and self-centered at the time to think of "what should I be doing?" (he's all grown up now and probably never missed it, but still....). DH and I are godparents to a few other children, all Protestant, and there's nothing involved in that, especially since none of the kids are being raised with faith.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 3:35pm

dh's brother and sil wanted Scott's older brother (never goes to church) and stepsister (also doens't go to church) to be godparents.... but their parish required them to provide a letter saying they were active members of a Catholic church.. which of course neither could provide....<<<


Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 4:54pm

People have different expectations of godparents. Most often, they think of "godparent" as a sort of honorary title, rather than an obligation.

I was 29 and semi-practicing when we had our first baby, and 37 by the time I had my last baby, and my understanding of what godparents should be evolved over the years, from "honoree" to "honoree and helper."

We chose friends to be our first baby's godparents because they were our friends, even though the wife was Episcopal and the husband was on the cusp of becoming Episcopal. They *are* very religious people - just not terribly supportive of Catholic "events" because the wife isn't aware of them (and we all know that husbands don't remember things like celebrating first communions and so on!).

By the time we had our third baby, I was much more aware of the role godparents should play in a child's life. We literally had no relatives or old friends to do this! By that time, I had realized that history and blood relationships are no reasons for choosing godparents. Godparents should be practicing Catholics who can help provide a Catholic community and witness, even if they don't see the child all the time. I asked Ruth, who'd been an online friend for a few years, to be DS's godmother, and we met for the first time in the church parking lot, half an hour before the ceremony!

I'd err on the side of being understanding, and accept that people may come to a fuller understanding of their faith at different rates. Some people get it early on, and never stray from it. Others of us need to grow into it. I've been blessed in being surrounded by people who helped me grow into it. Choosing godparents was one of the things I had to be helped along with.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 6:47pm

I am godmother to 2 of my nephews - one is 19 and the other just turned 1.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 8:50pm

Kelly,


Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 9:21pm
When my 8 year old was baptized, the godparents also had to provide letters from their parish saying they were active.
Avatar for my2craigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 9:51pm

My road back "home" was a long one and part of the hang up was getting CJ baptized. When my nonpracticing Methodist husband finally said I'm not having any part of it I went straight to work. We had CJ baptized at the parish about a mile from here. We did the meeting which was free and they didn't request any letters. I actually even asked if it was needed and was told "oh we don't worry about that here"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 8:48am

We went to a Baptism class with our first but never did have to again. We were fortunate that even though each was a different parish, they were small enough that the priest knew who we were and that we were active members of the parish.


In TX, I was very involved with MCCW. In GA, I started and ran a Mommy and Me preschool program, in AL I was the pres of MCCW and in VA we were known since it was a very small church and we were a larger than normal family

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James, Abigail, Theresa & John

Renee


Wife to Scott


Mom to: Madeleine, James,

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