My Life As I Know It
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|Mon, 09-14-2009 - 12:04am|
Well, I'm in school. I have officially started graduate school. I'm enrolled in a 2-year Master's program to get my MSW (Master's in Social Work. . . Yes, anyone who knows me here knows that my bleeding heart would lead me to some kind of low-paying social service job, LOL!). I have decided to try and become a medical social worker. For nearly 2 years, I've been volunteering on a regular basis helping my husband in the ER (Where he's a staff physician). It has been difficult and challenging, but an incredible learning experience; and since I'm on a Catholic board, I can readily admit to all of you (And you'll undoubtedly not think I'm any weirder than you already do) that I am aware every moment that I'm there that Christ is crucified in His people who suffer. It is my deepest hope that, by the grace of God, I can somehow eventually make some kind of a positive difference in just one life, and do it for Him Who is Love, and then I will have done something positive with myself and given back in just a small way for all the UNDESERVED blessings He has showered upon me for years and years.
So I hope somehow this can be my gift to God. But it won't be easy, because I have 4 young kids (My girls just started first grade, and my oldest turns 11 on Tuesday, and is in 6th grade). My husband's career is demanding and his hours are long and erratic. And I have a fear that my house will fall apart in my absence, or I won't be able to study enough to pass, or I'll neglect my kids in the process. Or the romance and closeness that is so important to us in our marriage will take a backseat and we will become estranged at worst, and routine at best. . . So I have a lot of fears, and it remains to be seen if I can pull this off. And I am not the least bit virtuous, despite the "gift to God" desire, so I'm sure I'll be kicking and screaming the whole way to graduation, and God bless my supportive husband and my poor patient kids, whose lives may be negatively affected by the pursuit of my goal.
Please keep me and my family in your prayers as I take on this huge endeavor. I'm not at all sure I'm dedicated enough, selfless enough, bright enough or committed enough. . . But God's will be done!!