Talking about sex with preteens

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Talking about sex with preteens
8
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 3:08pm
Are there any good Catholic books dealing with talking about sex, puberty, menstrual period to young kids. My daughter is ten and in fifth grade. She is a little immature for her age. Not interested in the boy-girl thing, but I think she is starting to want to ask questions though she still doesn't like to watch innocent kissing. Or maybe she just doesn't like watching it while her parents are around. If not Catholic, do you know of any good books? THanks, Catherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 6:13pm
Here is a link to a review of a book written specifically for preteens:

http://www.thecatholicspirit.com/archives.php?article=1632

This book can be purchased at Amazon.com. Here is the link for that:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0764227521/qid=1065564618/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-4320153-6807301?v=glance&s=books

Here is another review from a catholic site that I copied for you on another book that is specifically written for Catholic parents:

THE JOYFUL MYSTERIES OF LIFE. By Catherine and Bernard Scherrer. Translated by Patricia Hardcastle (Ignatius Press, P.O. Box 1339, Ft. Collins, Colo. 80522, 1997), 75 pp. PB $6.95.

This book was written by a French couple who wanted to explain to their own children the facts of life within the context of the Catholic faith. By popular demand, it has subsequently been published in several other languages. The authors have evidently satisfied a largely unmet need for materials which will assist parents in their responsibility of educating their children in chastity.

The Scherrers have written this book for pre-teen children and their parents, so the book is relatively short in length and simple in language. There are fourteen chapters which are three or four pages long, and most of them are followed by study questions. The authors present the actual biological facts of life accurately, but delicately, stressing the moral and religious significance of this information. For example, they follow the chapter on the father’s role in procreation with a chapter on the vocations of men. Similarly, they correlate their chapters on motherhood and women’s fertility with the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary as well as following these with a chapter on the vocations of women. In this way, the authors effectively convey to their young readers the real meaning of human sexuality, namely, that it is ordered to love and procreation, and, in the end, to the salvation of souls.

Throughout the book, the authors exhort children to pray daily, study the Bible, and frequent the Sacraments of Confession and the Eucharist in order to receive from God the graces which they will need to be chaste. Children are reminded that, because of the effects of Original Sin, people are not able to do what they know is right without God’s help. The chapter on marriage nicely explains why couples need the grace of this Sacrament in order to truly love one another and carry out the duties of their vocation. This discussion about Original Sin and grace clearly conforms with the guidelines found within The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, as does the whole of this little book.

And it is precisely in the book’s conformance to Vatican guidelines that it contrasts sharply with the typical public, or even Catholic, elementary school sex education course. Unlike such courses, the book does not go into explicit and excessive detail in its presentation of biological information. There are no drawings of the human reproductive systems or discussions of aberrant sexual behavior. The authors do not present the facts of life as a health course separate from larger discussion of the human person, and then follow that with a diluted presentation of Catholic morality.

In short, this is a book which will never be accepted by the sex education establishment, but which will be gratefully received by many Catholic parents. Parents will find the book to be quite helpful whether they let their children read the book themselves or whether they use it as a reference when instructing their children in their own words. The Scherrers are to be commended for writing it.

Mary R. Schneider

Cleveland, Ohio


You can find this book at amazon.com at the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898706300/qid%3D1065564454/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/102-4320153-6807301

Hope this helps!

Jennifer



Avatar for mending
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 12:52pm
IMO, I don't think it's healthy to push such topics on children. When I was around that age, I saw one of my brother's sex books laying on the shelf. It was disgusting or it wasn't my forte'. When I got older (way after sex education in high school) the subject was interesting, but I still never liked watching people kiss each other, especially in public. It isn't my fault, it's just that I have a brain. I don't blame your daughter at all for not being interested in #1- boys. I think spiritual books or magazines may be the ones she finds an interest in, or something more appealing to her.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 3:16pm
I have to agree with Sister1234 on this One.

 

 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 10-10-2003 - 3:19pm
www.myfriendmagazine.com ... this is an awesome magazine for kids!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 8:29pm
First, I want to say I hadn't planned on telling my daughter anything more than what was age appropriate. I was actually looking for something I could read to help me before the questions began. And I wanted to have her feel comfortable talking to me before she hits middle school which all my friends say they get awfully quiet in sixth grade.

Jennifer, that first book is just wonderful. I got it yesterday and read it. It's perfect for our situation and I love how she includes Scripture in it. I will definitely get the other one, too. I have already shared it with my daughter and she is enjoying reading it and I'm not sure how to put this but I think she is touched that I have recognized she is growing up. Thanks, Catherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-14-2003 - 8:49pm
Glad to help...and I'm glad you gave a good review of one of them! My oldest son is 9 right now, and I haven't really had to address the issue, but it is nice to know there are good resources to be had that use Christianity, and in the case of the 2nd book I listed, Catholicism itself, to use in context with that part of their "education". I will probably be ordering both of them to arm myself with some good sense for when those questions do start rolling in! I think that with the way schools are pushing to include sex ed, in their curriculum, and also the way mistruths can be presented by peers, we need to be prepared with a faith based interpretation for the benefit of our children. Glad to hear that your daughter is receptive to it and that the book has been a good resource for you both. Let me know what you think of the other book when you get it too! : )

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 10:56am
My oldest is 4, so I can't give any advice on books -- but I'd like to say that 10 is a great age to start talking about this. Actually, I think it is helpful to talk about sex when it seems disgusting and there's no emotional angle to the topic. At that age, the spiritual, physical and intellectual reasons for waiting make so much sense, and there isn't the societal pull yet that you'll have to deal with later.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 10-15-2003 - 1:58pm
Thank you for your compliment, except I'm not totally sure (debating here!) if my wording was correctly shared by exaggerating. I agree with your magazine referring to the Catholic faith as a "private revelation" and teaching the Church's precepts in the world as a sufferages' way to keep the faith. It's more a level of commitment to the Church that sometimes needs to be challenged by certain words or people "sitting up in high places" whether they are "here" or not. Others fulfill them. Sometimes certain acts or deeds need to be explained, not only by Jesus dying on the cross for sins.