Would I be welcome?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Would I be welcome?
8
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 1:55pm
Hi,

I am engaged to be married to a very devout Catholic man. We plan to have children. He wants them to grow up in the Catholic faith. I am Jewish. I have no problem going to church with kids, sending them to Catholic school, etc. However, would I, as a non-Catholic, be welcome by members of the faith to participate with my family. I told my fiance that I will go to church with him (and have been) and if I feel that it is right for me I will convert but I will not convert unless I absolutely feel like I want to. I was raised a Jew and am a Jew. Hopefully what I am asking makes some sense. We don't know many people in the church we've been going to so I don't have anyone locally to ask.

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 2:14pm
Welcome! Of course you are welcome to attend Mass, pray, have your children baptized, participate in social activities, or whatever. As a non-Catholic, you would not be able to receive the Eucharist.

You are right not to convert unless you absolutely feel that is what you are being called to do. Big step there.

Does that answer your question?

Are you planning to be married in the Church?

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 3:34pm
Thank you for your response, Karen. Yes, it does answer my question. I was married before so I have to have an annulment which is in the process. However, we are planning to be married in the Catholic church. Since my fiance is very serious about his faith he wants to be married by a priest in the church. We've been to see the priest who said that he would marry us (once my annulment comes through)but would prefer not to do the Eucharist (primarily because my family would not be able to participate).

My ex-husband and I did not have any children. He is being extremely cooperative with the annulment process (he is now remarried himself) and it looks like it will be complete in about 3 months or so.

This is probably a lot more information than you wanted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 5:24pm
LOL! No such thing as too much info.

DH had been married before, so he also had to get an anullment. And his dear ex-wife was not happy about it for some reason. Sounds like things are falling into place nicely for you.

When we were married, we did not have the full Mass, either, even though both sides were Catholic. For some reason DH did not want that, and I went along because it was one of the few things wedding-wise that he had an opinion on. I went to one wedding where both the bride and groom seemed to be Catholic, but none of the family members on either side. That was strange.

I hope things work out for you two!

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 6:36pm
Hi, I just wanted to add, that I am Jewish and my fiance is Catholic. I attend church services with him and we have planned on bringing our children up Catholic. I have found the church to more than accomodating for our particular wedding needs and am very positive that the Church is going to be welcoming when the time comes to have our children become involved in the church.

I do still feel a little out of place in church, but I feel the same way in a synagogue. Sometimes I wish I could participate more like singing the songs that my fiance seems to know by heart, but that just comes with going to church all your life. It's funny, because lately, I'm the one who asks him if he wants to go. :-)

I've had nothing but positive experiences with the Catholic Church and I hope you find the same.

Beth

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 7:38am

Congratulations.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 9:33am
I want to thank you all for your responses. Beth, I have had only positive experiences with the Catholic church as well. So many people I know have expressed alarm and made comments about the faith but it turns out that they are simply uneducated or not willing to learn more to have a better understanding. The priest at our church did say I could go to confession to experience what it is like but that he could not give me absolution. I will likely take him up on that.

Incidentally my father lives in Israel and I've been there many times to visit him. I went again in May and took my fiance with me. I never realized (I know, I must be completely oblivious) the significance to Catholics and other Christains. We went to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the Garden of Gesthemani, the Mount of Olives, etc. It was very ispirational to me.

Thank you again, Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 10:31am
Of course you are welcome! If you find differently in your parish, find a new parish, because there is no reason for anyone to make you feel unwelcome. As people get to know you, you may find that they have a lot of questions about Judaism, so don't be surprised -- and be patient if people don't know as much as you'd expect. But so many Catholic traditions and prayers are rooted in the Jewish faith, that it is equally likely that you'll find respect for and understanding of Judaism.

I'm glad to hear the annulment is going well. Also, don't be afraid to ask a priest about any questions or concerns you have. My husband is a convert, and I remember that before he converted, priests practically scared him! LOL!

For an understanding of some Catholic traditions, an easy read is "Why Do Catholics Do That?" As for the liturgy and the music, your church will probably let you borrow a hymnal if you want to get more familiar with the prayers and songs. But if you're not comfortable participating, don't feel compelled to. At any Mass, you can look around and see people who don't kneel, sing, etc. for whatever reason. They're still welcome to attend and participate as fully as they'd like.

Polly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 6:27pm
I like confession as much as the next person, but I'm not sure what the point would be without absolution. Definitely the best part from where I'm sitting.

Does one have to be Catholic to receive absolution? Don't converts make their First Confession before receiving the other sacraments?

No priest has ever asked to see my Catholic ID card before absolving me ;-). Or maybe it's not an issue because there's not a big rush of non-Catholics getting in line at the confessional on Saturday afternoons?

Just curious. Just hit me as kind of strange to go to confession without absolution.

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm