4yo temper tantrums and attitude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
4yo temper tantrums and attitude
7
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 3:33pm

Hi all ~ I'm new here so I'll introduce myself first I guess. My name is Teresa and I have a 4yo, Logan,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:16pm

Hi Teresa. Welcome to the board. Our kids are the same ages apart and were born in the same month! Lindsay was born in Feb and Philip turned 4 that April.

I think you are right. It does sound like he is reacting to having a new sibling in the house and wanting more attention. It is wonderful that he loves his baby brother. But that doesn't mean he isn't going to get upset with him and not want to be around him some times. Even good changes will add stress and worry to your life.

What happens when the baby naps? Does Logan still nap? Could you use the morning nap time to do stuff with Logan?

I think it is okay to let him calm down before you talk to him about what he did or didn't do. I tend to use time outs as a means of calming down and thinking about what you did and could do instead. So I don't find it a big deal that he would rather be in his room than the couch. I think that once he calms down he will be able to listen and understand better than what he would be able to do when he is still upset. When he is upset he is probably focusing on the fact that he's in trouble or just still so mad that he isn't hearing anything you are saying to him.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 2:05pm

Hi Dawn ~ Thanks for responding. Did Philip act out when Lindsay was born?


Logan does still take a nap (well, most days..lol) after lunch. Dylan's naps are varied. We don't have a set schedule, but normally he takes a good one mid-morning and mid-afternoon with maybe a catnap here and there. Although lately his good naps have not been as long as they used to be (I think he's teething). On the weekends I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 3:29pm

He acted out when she started being up more and then again when she started moving around and trying to play with his stuff. But because of the age difference I think he was able to understand better that some times I needed to stop and change a diaper or feed her. He still didn't like it but he seemed to get it better than my nephew did who is only 2 years older than his sister.

I know it will take longer but get him to help you. He should be able to help sort laundry, match socks and dry dust the coffee table and chair legs as well as help with picking up his toys. You can use the timer to make a game out of it. You can also use the timer to do something for 15 minutes, then spend 15 minutes with him and back to 15 minutes doing a chore and keep repeating. When you cook dinner do you have him hang out with you in the kitchen? He could sit at the table or counter and talk, color and even help with some of the cooking. He could help load the dishwasher with the plastics and cups. Just keep it fun for him. Four and five year olds love to help but sometimes it is on terms and in their own way. Realize that it may take him a while to do it and don't stress that it isn't to your usual standards. The only other thing I would advise is to not redo what he has done. Let it go until the next time or later in the day when you can act like it has gotten messed up again.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 3:49pm
Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes he does
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 7:34pm
Making more time is something I have to remind myself of all the time. I will sometimes forget that they take more time to do the stuff I could do quickly. I also have to remember to allow them to do it their own way and at their own pace. My mom was big on there being a right way to do things and it made me not like helping her. Still some of that rubbed off on me because I could feel myself starting to twitch when my son started making his bed.

dawn200608.jpg picture by cariadlawn


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 7:48am

noah has 5 brother 2 younger he gets in these fits to i just tell him he has to scream in his room


if we are at the store i put back his treats and leave. give them any power they win kids love to see you get mad it gives them power (not sure why)


look up


http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/p-208-lifesaver-kit.aspx


http://www.loveandlogic.com/ecom/pc-118-23-early-childhood-package-with-magic-for-early-childhood-cd.aspx


these cd's are funny to listen to and the teachniques really work. you might be able to find these in the library to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 8:38am
Thanks for the links! I'll have to check the library,