5 almost 6 and not any close friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
5 almost 6 and not any close friends
4
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 8:20pm
My DS will be 6 in September and starting Kindergarten. He is very outgoing and introduces himself to everyone. Every one knows him and usually likes him. He dose have ADHD. I am worried bc he has no close friends to play with. Almost all the kids go to day care and he stays home. I have tried play groups but they just never work out ( they either start great and dwindle down or they never seem to get going any where). We go to places like McD's and play but never seem to meet that one special friend. There is a boy that is a yr older across the street and DS wants to go over there to play but Mom is usually not home and her older Teens are watching the 6yr boy. For what ever reason when the boy asks to come over here the Mom says no. Every time we meet a new child and they just say hi DS says "Mom I made a new friend". Am I being too concerned about this?
Joan

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:43pm

I would be a little concerned too. But at least you are trying. :) It seems like a lot moms just don't care if their children have friends or not. Personally, I think that a child's social growth is very important. I bet that when he starts Kindergarten, there will probably be a bunch of new kids there whom he hasn't met. The teacher will probably give you a class list so the kids can arrange playdates. I would just start inviting them over to play after school (or before, if he has afternoon Kindergarten). I didn't start doing this until about the end of Kindergarten and I wish I had started it early on.

Organizing get-togethers is always a great way to start things out, meet people and get friendships started. You can invite the class over for a Get Ready for School backyard type party with some simple, outdoor activities. You could even make it a potluck at a local park. You aren't the only mom who is anxious for Junior to meet the kids in class and make some good friends.

The other thing I would say is, if you can, volunteer in his classroom. If you do this, you will meet other moms, get to know the other kids and figure out who would be a good 'love match' for your son. I know moms who, in the first month of school, organized a Meet at Starbucks for coffee morning, just for the moms, while the kids are in school. This type of thing only helps your kids out because once you start meeting other parents, they will begin to trust you and will be willing to let their own kids come over and play with yours. Also, you will hear about community events, such as soccer leagues, etc., and find out what the other kids in class are doing socially. Then you can get your son signed up for a few of those things.

These are just some ideas for you to mull over. My son is just finishing up second grade and when he was in Kindergarten, I too was worried about him socially. But I didn't really start to 'plug in' to what was going on socially until almost the end of his Kindy year. But now I'm an 'old hand' within the school system, so I know how it goes. You really do have to be the cruise director of your child's social life to a certain extent. And for me, one of the things that helped the most, was getting to know the other moms.

Hope this helps!

Susan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 4:31pm
Thank you so much. I talked with the Mom of the next door boy this am and she sends hers to a Boy's and Girls club. They get to do alot of activities. I am a little unsure if DS would like it bc he has ADHD and has a hard time in big groups. I am going to call and get more information. We recently tried T-Ball and it was a disaster. DS hated it and even started with the negative self talk that comes with ADHD. He never made even 1 friend there and I worry about that. I was thinking of volunteering as a nurse at the school to help out. Hopefully I will meet some parents that way.
Thank you again
Joan

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 12:46pm

My son is in a special education first grade. He turned 6 in
September. He will be in special education second grade since he is not reading yet.

We have a circle of friends we met at the preschool disabled program. We are friends with kids with autism, adhd and apraxia. My kids have great social skills and can adjust their playstyle to any child.

I'm assuming your son is on a 504 plan at school? Is he getting speech and Occupational Therapy services in school?

The best way to make friends is to go out there and try to make playdates. I wrote a note in each child's bookbag for a playdate. Out of 12 notes, only 1 or 2 parents responded. Also, I invited the whole class to his birthday party. Out of 12 kids, only 1 parent responded.

Good friends are hard to find. Keep searching and when he finds and/or you find a good friend, keep them. Keep searching. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 3:43pm
Two good Kids,
Thank you so much. DS made it threw the last couple of months of the new preschool. He did not really make any new friends there. I am hoping that he will in Kindergarten. He has a hard time making friends. It is probably due to his ADHD. Acquaintances is easy he introduces him self to everyone. He is very outgoing in that area. Just have to keep praying that it will happen for him soon.
Thank you again.
Joan