Bad attitude towards daddy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Bad attitude towards daddy!
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 1:14pm
I have a four year old son who is generally very well behaved. My husband is very busy and is rarely home with us, but when he is he loves to spend time with our son. Recently, my son is disappointed when daddy is home and will ignore him when he arrives home from work. He did the same thing to Grandpa the other day (who took it very personally). It makes me very sad and a bit angry when he treats my husband like this.
When daddy is not home he shows excitement saying "We can have private time" which he learned from Little Bill on Noggin. I am aware of the oedipus complex, but don't know what to do about it.
Has anyone experienced this and how should I respond?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 5:58pm

This is a tough one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 6:43pm

Drea hit on what I was going to say. Our rule has always been that you don't have to like everyone but you do have to be polite and respectful.

My husband is gone long hours at work and so the kids don't see him as much as they would like. However, I have noticed that sometimes they don't like him being home. He messes with their schedule by being home. Or he will say something about them eating when they are both used to having a snack at about 10am and again at 3pm. They get up early and at school that is the time they get snack. It's always healthy and on the small side. Or he'll try to get them to have quiet time right after lunch for 2 or 3 hours. They will go have quiet time around 2:30 for about an hour. Both those things cause problems and friction. He is learning that at 9 and 5 they don't need a nap but they can benefit by some down time, just a little later in the afternoon. He is also learning to talk to me about what their day looks like before jumping in and making decisions. He has learned to respect that they have a routine that they like and enjoy and will discuss things rather than telling them how things will be. He has come up with things that they only do with him. I always act like they will have fun and that I am going to go do this because that is a daddy activity.